Still Tryin'

I haven't mentioned it in a bit, but we're still trying to have a kid.  Get pregnant.  Get all knocked up. Be in the family way.  Get some tax deductions. Kill the rabbit.  Make some ankle-biters.  You get the point. I've been off birth control for 1 year and 3 months when this publishes. Such a loooong year.  

We're still doing the Clomid thing, and going about it the old fashioned way.  Unless someone donates an IUI to the cause, we're going to be holding off on that for a bit.  Not cheap, those turkey basters. 

It's actually not been bad lately.  Some headaches, a bit of nausea, and the total lack of desire to move off the couch for about two weeks straight, but not bad.  Just.....waiting.  I do it so very well, I tell you.  Sarcasm fully intended.

But, fear not, we're still trying.  This is The Week That Matters coming up, so here's praying our timing is perfect and we can ring in 2010 with a new munckin.  

Scratch, Ding, Scrape

This weekend, I dropped my phone. No big deal, really, as I do this all the time. However, I was outside on concrete. And it was my brand new phone, my baby. One minute it was shiny and perfect. The next minute it had a ding in the silver and a scrape on the shiny black outside. Just like that, it's not perfect anymore. Now it has battlewounds that came from my own clumsiness.

The world didn't end, of course. We took Brian's Mom and Dad's truck and headed toward town as planned. I gradually forgot about my phone as I watched the gorgeous scenery go by. Baileys Mountain is seriously beautiful, especially in the spring and fall. Suddenly I became very aware of the fact that we were in Brian's Mom's very new, very perfect SUV There were pointy, gougey things all around us! Rocks, trees, and ditches, oh my! I had visions of us rolling that Escape into a ditch and wrapping it around a tree. Dinged doors and chipped paint flashed through my head. And then it dawned on me: the world is chock full of things that can scratch and ding. And life is full of the very same - opportunities to scratch, gouge, and ding each other.

How often do you speak without thinking about how your words will be received? Words hurt. They sting, poke, and chip off little bits of someone's confidence. How often do your sharp words scratch your spouse, or chip the paint off your relationship? If we're honest with ourseelves, it's probably a lot mroe often than we'd like to admit.

I know I'm guilty of this. If I'm the least bit stressed or tired, harried or annoyed, guess who bears the brunt? Brian. I usually realize it and quickly apologize, but the damage is done; his paint is chipped just a little bit. I'd love to use the excuse that we only hurt the ones we love, but he never does it to me Never. I could take a lesson from this man, and I plan to.

Spouses aren't the only people we do this to. How often does a friend's careless word break your heart? How often does something said in jest lead to a fight or the end of a friendship? We may say that people are just too sensitive, but in reality we were probably too sharp. Thoses consant little dings and scrapes are what wear us down and take the luster off our finish. How can you go about your day being the best person you can possibly be if the first person you saw today gouged you ? Whose day did you affect that same way today? Adults are one thing, but children are another question altogether. Their little souls are wounded so easily, and a careless word from an adult could alter their very personality forever. But not for the better.

So, I'm going to plan to be a little softer. A little more gentle, and a whole lot more observant of other peoples' paint jobs. Imagine if we all were a little more considerate in our daily lives, and remembered not to throw verbal rocks at those we love.

A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

In Which Much Happens and Little Gets Accomplished

Hello.  Yawn.  I have only one questions to ask:  Is it Friday yet?  As a lot of you may know, Brian and I spent the week on the outskirts of lovely Elizabeth, West Virginia this weekend.  Basically a weekend on Baileys Mountain happens three times a year or so, and we try to cram as much as possible into the 24 hour period between car trips.  This weekend was no exception.

Brian had to work at 6 on Friday morning, so he was up and around at 5:15 AM.  If you know Brian, you know this was both monumental and painful.  He worked all day with no break, eating pretzel chips and gummi bears for lunch.  He got home late and needed some time to rest up before we headed out.  We got all cleaned up from our respective gunky days, packed the car, grabbed some dinner, and set off for West-by-God Virginia.  It's about a 6 hour trip to Baileys Mountain from here, and we usually leave around 6 PM. Here's what it looks like:

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Yeah, it's a long trip through tiny towns, up and down mountains, with stretches where you can't get gas for miles. And we do it in the dark most of the time. Fun. Actually, we travel very well together, so it is fun. But tiring.

Apparently especially tiring when you've been awake since 5 AM and worked all day. I tend to nap throughout the trip because I'm not driving. Brian's Jetta is a standard, and I don't drive stick. We hadn't made it terribly far (halfway?) before Brian needed to stop for a break. And I don't mean to pee or buy a drink. I mean for a forty-five minute nap. The first of many. Sometimes we'd just stop for him to get out of the car and walk a bit, and other times it was asleep and snoring. Thank God for cell phone alarm clocks! At one point, I desperately needed sleep as well and Brian was feeling pretty good. So I kicked my seat back, snuggled my pillow, and let the MP3 player put me to sleep. Suddenly, I was convinced that the top had ripped off the car and we were going to fly out, a la some bad plane-crash movie. Brian had opened the window to try to wake up. I, meanwhile, will now die a year or so earlier than otherwise planned. We arrived on Baileys Mountain (which does involve crossing running water without benefit of a bridge as some of Brian's friends like to say) shortly before 5. 5 AM. In the morning. As in 24 hours after Brian woke up and 8 1/2 hours after we left the house. OUCH. We met Brian's Dad as he was leaving for work.... Needless to say, we slept till noon on Saturday and still felt like death.

Upon waking up on Baileys Mountain, a full breakfast is always called for. Full as in eggs, bacon, gravy, biscuits, juice, milk, and coffee. Regardless of time, as demonstrated by our fixing it at noon.... Immediately thereafter, Brian's Mom started planning dinner. We had somehow neglected to let her know that we had dinner plans. So she moved her dinner plans to 5:00, and we planned to go out at 7 with friends and cousins and their resepective others. I headed off to take a shower, Brian headed to the car to get his phone and try to call others. Forget that we have no, I repeat NO cell service on the Mountain. No 3G. No 1G. Barely a land line, folks. Incommunicado at its bestest. When I finished with my shower we headed across the road to take a look at Brian's Grandmother's old house, which his Mom and Dad had just finished cleaning up and making somewhat liveable. Brian asked if I had seen his car key. Nope, sure hadn't. But he had just been to the car within the hour, and always lays his keys on the entryway table, so I wasn't worried. Until we got back to the house 20 minutes later and realized that we seriously could not find the car key. At all. Our only car key, at that point. We established that it had been on the table, had been seen by nearly everyone in the house, and was now gone. We turned that house up. Side. Down. Literally, as we turned sofas and chairs upsidedown to look inside them in hopes that the key was there. We looked in the trash, tore up beds, looked under things that weren't even in the house. We checked the yard, under the car, peered in windows, and interrogated small children who were in the vicinity of the key. Because Jetta keys don't look like keys. They look like this:

You know, like a toy. So we honestly thought (and think still) that some small hand grabbed it and ran off with it. Meanwhile, we needed to get in the car to get things that we desperately needed for the day, and in case we had to take the Baileys' car home instead of ours. Which necessitated calling a locksmith. We were currently 22 miles from Elizabeth, the nearest town. So we called someone up and ran to Elizabeth to guide them in. It took the locksmith all of 2.5 minutes to pop our lock and head on his way. The key was not in the car, but at least we had our stuff. We headed off to Buffalo Wild Wings for fun time with some cool folks like Ford Maverick, Ford's Sister, Cousin Clarence and His Wife, Nate the Great, and several others. We had a great time and it was wonderful to get everyone together. I could tell you tons of funny stories, but this post is already a novel.... Suffice it to say that we got back to Baileys Mountain at 3:30 AM. Yeah. As we crawled into bed, we located one missing Jetta key laying squarely in the middle of our bed, under the sheets. The bed which was made before Brian used his key to go to the car. The bed which we had torn to pieces to check for the key. The bed on which I had lain while Brian checked under it. Yeah, we'd checked the bed. I'm not even going to speculate as to how that key got there, but we spent quite literally 5 hours looking for it, interrogated small children, and spent $80 on a locksmith. Fun times on Baileys Mountain, ya'll.

We got up Sunday, fixed breakfast (see above) and got ready to head out. Our goal was to be on the road by 1, and we were ready by 2:15. Not bad when you're running on Baileys Standard Time. We headed over to The Bum and Cousin Mike's new house to hang out and catch up. Around 4:00 we headed to Morgantown to see Nurse Baileys and Coach Jimmy. We left there at 7:15...and had the absolute repeat of our trip on Friday night. Complete with naps and much anxiety over staying awake. Except that we had detoured through Morgantown/Fairmont, so the route looked like this:

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We got home at 2:30. I worked today at 7......

Is it nap time yet? Oh, wait. It is, it is! I'm going to crash!

Thank God....It's Friday

Once again, it's Friday.  Woot!!  So, for the second week running, I bring you

Thank God......It's Friday

Praises

This week, I'm thanking God that my Uncle Billy was able to have his IV drip removed and began eating food. If broth counts as food, that is!  I'm sure after not eating a single thing for more than a month it certainly counts for him!

Stellan's surgery went well all things considered, and from all accounts he's doing fine!  **edited to add:  Notsomuch.  Please keep him in your prayers.  I've added him to the list below.

I've felt amazingly wonderful for no apparent reason and am loving life again!

We get to spend the weekend in West Virginia with Brian's family, catching up with folks we only see a few times a year.

I may have secured another child for daycare, which will make it so much better for us financially.  I've been down to three kids for quite some time, so this is huge in the grand scheme of our lives!!  And it's a huge answer to prayer!

Requests

Many people are praying for Kayleigh and her family.  Please join in and pray that the Lord will touch her tiny body and heal it, and will give her family peace and comfort.

Stellan is recovering, but it looks like his surgery was not a success.  Please remember him and his family, as they need prayer still!

Annette is still undergoing treatment, so please lift her and her family up.

Uncle Carroll underwent testing yesterday to see how well his chemo and radiation worked.  It'll be several days until he gets results, so please keep him in your prayers.

Uncle Billy is still in the hosptial, waiting for his pancreas to get its head out of its hind end.

Aunt Margie is still in the hosptial, trying to breathe a little easier.

I wouldn't mind getting all pregnant this month, if it's all the same to everyone else.

What would you like us to pray for, and what are you thanking God for this week?  

Better Baileys Blogging

I think maybe the alliteration that is all over some of my favorite blogs has finally gone to my head.  Add to that the fact that I have always loved alliteration, and you have the title for today's post.

I'm trying my best to be a better blogger.  I'm trying to be entertaining, enlightening, inspiring, and most of all:  consistent.  I'm seriously trying to post daily, or close to it.  However, in case you hadn't noticed, I have a job!  Two of them.  Two jobs and and two online shops, actually. So I'm a bit busy most days.  What with the kids, the diapers, the lunching, the salve-making, card-stamping, and keeping a house looking halfway decent.  Then someone posted about scheduling their posts. What?!!?  We can do that?!?  Why, yes, we can.  

So was this post written today, Thursday?  Or last night while watching cartoons?  You be the judge.....

Post De-Railed

Like everyone else in the known universe today I planned to blog about Earth Day.  You know, what we' ve been doing around here to be more green and eco-friendly, what you can do at your house, how swell we all are for recycling.  Then a whole lot of stuff intervened, and it's just cemented my opinion that there are more important things to blog about.  Sure, I'm all about being green.  Brian and I are conservation-minded people by our very nature.  We believe in protecting the environment, wildlife, and our resources.  We believe in alternate energy sources and sustainable living.  We're big fans of buying local and organic, and using reuseable items instead of disposibles any time it's possible. That's just who we are, and if you've been in our house for more than 10 minutes you've seen that in action.  No big shocker there that we'll keep reducing, reusing, and recycling until we shuffle off this mortal coil.  It's not for funnsies, and it's not for trendiness -- it's our God-given responsibility as stewards of this earth.  We were given protection of it and dominion over it; therefore we must care for it as a gift from God and not waste it.  There ya go, my thoughts for Earth Day.  Around here, it's no different than the other 364 days of the year, and I hope that you'll be willing to make each day around your place an eco-friendly one, too.  

So what derailed me and is far, far, FAR more important?  Kayleigh.  Kayleigh Anne Freeman, to be exact.  I've been following Kayleigh's story for a while now, and have mentioned it to you already.  Yesterday, as a matter of fact.  You may remember that she underwent major surgery last week, and has been recovering nicely.  As of about two days ago, the doctors were going to wean her off of her sedation and allow her to slowly wake up.  

Today when I checked my blog reader, I was devastated to learn that Kayleigh may have suffered a stroke, and may be brain dead.  I am completely stunned, and I cannot even imagine how her parents are feeling.  From reading their blog for a while, I'm confident that they will not consider this an automatic death sentence for Kayleigh, and will be praying for God to touch her with a miracle yet.  But, this has to be a blow to them as they may have to face losing Kayleigh soon.  This family has been through pure hell the past 10 months, and have suffered financial ruin as a result of medical costs.  Through it all they have been positive, uplifting, and faithful.  Please do them the favor of praying for them and for Kayleigh whenever you can today.  Pray for wisdom and guidance for doctors, and for comfort for her parents.  But most of all, just please pray unceasingly for Kayleigh.

Meanwhile, the most recent update from MckMama is that Stellan is doing well and was waking up yesterday afternoon.  If you'd like to follow her updates for yourself, please click here.  From the account of his surgery, I'd say a ton of prayers were offered on his behalf yesterday, and the job's not done yet.  So keep going.

On a personal note, one of my aunts is in the hospital at UVA.  She is having trouble breathing, and from what I hear her lungs are filled with fluid.  This is a sister to the uncle who is also in the hospital with pancreaitis, and they are my dad's siblings.  Please keep them in your prayers.

Now, lunch is done and the blog is updated.  So I should go clean a bathroom....  Or fix dinner..... Or just enjoy nap time peace and quiet!!

Light Hearted

There is an unbelievable lightness in my soul these days, folks. I don't know why, and I can't really explain it. Maybe it's the fact that it's Spring, maybe it's because I'm finally feeling human again, or maybe it's because I'm surrounded by people I love. I don't know, but I like it. I have a renewed energy for things I've been slacking on. You know: things like cleaning, cooking good food for us, or getting out and about. I'm feeling better about life in general (which is funny, since the world as we know it is headed to Hell in a handbasket, right?) and my life specifically. Being a good wife is getting easier with practice every day, remembering to squelch anger or negativity in its path is getting far easier, and enjoying doing things around the house. The infertility roller coaster is still on its path, but I feel more at ease. I totally credit that to the fact that we've just given it to God. We'll keep up the Clomid and such, and just trust God for the timing. It's making it easier to handle emotionally, I know that! I have a new peace about my whole life, and it's like being comfortable in my skin for the first time in a long, long time.

As I mentioned last week, I read a lot of blogs. Seriously, ya'll. Today I spent the day checking in on Stellan and Tricia as they faced their individual medical challenges. And praising the Lord that Kayleigh is doing well so far in her recovery. I cannot begin to explain just how much these families (and others, as well) have touched me lately and added to my own personal growth. They are all facing incredible medical issues but still keep smiling and encouraging others. None of them are the least bit afraid of sharing their faith, either. Which is refreshing and has encouraged me to feel okay doing the same. It can be a bit daunting to step out of your comfort zone and talk about your relationship with the Lord. As much as you don't want to think it, you worry about what your friends will think or say. I'm pretty much done with that, just to give you fair warning. I'm constantly amazed by what my God can do, and these three awesome families have helped me be comfortable sharing it! Yay for them!

So, I'm spending the forseeable future surrounding myself with positive people, being as joyful as I can possibly be, and just being happy in my life. Suddenly it's just a good day, every day. I don't know what it is, but I like it!

Saturday Happiness

Tonight has been a happy evening. I got all kinds of things done today, which is pretty amazing considering the fact that I overslept by several hours this morning. Then I headed out for a hair cut, lunch with Mom, grocery shopping and a few errands. I was only home a few minutes and still cooling down from being in an un-air conditioned car when Brian arrived home. The windows were up, kids were playing on the playground, and before we knew it we were knocked out asleep. We napped for a bit and then showered and headed to dinner. After a fantastic dinner at our favorite Mexican place, we're back home and hanging out. Brian's off tomorrow, so we're planning a laid-back Sunday. I love the fact that we could spend all day together and still be happy. I hope you all had a great Saturday, too!

Replies to Comments

Yay! People actually commented! Okay, so it's the same two loyal lovelies (read: two of my oldest and dearest friends) that usually comment, but I feel loved now.

So, add Justme to your prayer list that she may be a little less territorial. Hang on while I speak directly to her using the forum of my very own blog: Why are you listed in Atlanta? Is your tech-savvy hubby bouncing your IP from somewhere else like mine does occasionally? I knew Chicago was you, but thought that Atlanta was probably your mom.

She didn't mention it, but add the very cool MadHat76 to your prayer list as she's feeling all cruddy since her Monday.

Want to have a laugh at my expense? Tonight I was working on sewing a book cover. Specifically a Bible cover since my favorite Bible is seriously RED and stands out like a sore thumb at church. If the prototypes go well, I'll eventually offer them in the shop. Unfortunately, I was doing up the pattern in my head, and mis-measured/mis-added/mis-cut/whatever. It's a half inch too short now. Two lovely pieces of fabric used (did I mention it's reversable!?) and an hour and a half shot. Maybe it'll work for a smaller book, but I was crushed. Then I discovered that of the three things I could possibly fix for dinner tonight, I had only half the ingredients for any of them. I was missing an ingredient or two for each one. But I pulled it out of nowhere, if I do say so myself, and redeemed myself with awesome pork chops. Now we're off to pick up Brian's car from the shop. Someday I'll tell you the story of why it was there.....

Thank God...It's Friday

You may not know this, but I read a lot of blogs.  No, seriously, a LOT of blogs.  For some reason, I have to go to the very beginning and read through all the archives until I'm caught up, then I'll usually check them daily.  You can get an idea of what I've been reading by checking out the list on my right sidebar, if you're interested.  It's amazing the stories you can find and the people to whom you can grow attached just through their stories and pictures.  Sometimes there's a happy ending, or you find a family that you can learn from, and other times the story is desperately sad and makes you thankful for your easy life.  As I've been bouncing from blog to blog, I've seen some standard things, and probably you have, too.  Things like Wordless Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, and one I'm thinking about joining called Not Me Monday.  I always tend to forget to be wordless on Wednesday, and while I am definitely thankful on Thursday, I tend to forget to post about it.  So, in hopes that having my own idea for such a thing can make me responsible (ha!), I give you....

Thank God....It's Friday!

I know, you're thinking TGIF just like I am.  No matter how much you love your job, we all thank God it's Friday, right?  Weekends are the best part of working, honestly.  But that's not what I mean...I mean truly Thank God.  It's Friday.  I'd like this to be an opportunity for me (and my readers -- you're not getting off the hook) to share prayer requests and praises, to come to God with thanksgiving and our deepest needs.  All of us praying is much more effective than just lil' ole me.

Disclaimer: Please don't run off if you're not Christian -- pray to your god as you see fit.  Or if you don't have a personal belief, take some time to offer a kind thought, good vibes, whatever for the things we all share.  I make no secret of the fact that I'm a Chrisitian, but I try to respect the faith or lack thereof of most people.  What's completely, totally, undoubtably right for me may not be your cup of tea.  Whatever, join in.

So, here's what we'll do.  I'll let you know what we're praying for around here, and things we're thanking the Lord for today.  And you can leave your prayer requests and praises in the comments you leave.  While we're at it, let's talk about comments. 50 Baileys Points to Just Me for commenting so very faithfully, and letting me know that she's checking in on my life.  10 Points if you've ever commented before. Of course, Baileys Points get you absolutely....nothing.  Except my love and respect, of course!  But according to my Live Traffic Feed and Google Analytics, there are a lot more of you lurking here on a daily basis.  Don't feel bad -- I'm a lurker at heart, too.  But please feel safe to come out and comment, especially on Thank God...It's Friday.  De-lurk!!

Praises

The weather has finally turned nice again!
Brian seems to be feeling much, much better.  He has less migraines and dizzy spell these days.

I finally have kicked whatever was ailing me to the curb, and hopefully will be getting a lot more done around here.

Requests

My uncle, Carroll, has pancreatic cancer.  He's finished his chemo and radiation, and is hoping for a good report.  He's fighting, and we're praying.

My 'nother uncle, Billy, has pancreatis.  I'm not sure what it is with pancreases lately!  He's been in the hospital for several weeks following a knee replacement because he developed several blood clots in his lungs and then the pancreatic trouble.  He may be transferring to a different hospital Monday for surgery, so please keep him in your prayers.  He's understandably down about his situation, and needs just as much emotional uplifting as physical.  

While visiting CF Husband's blog, I was "introduced" to MckMama and her Many Small Children, who are truly charming.  Seriously, I wish I lived closer to this family so I could do everything in my little power to cultivate a friendship with them in real life.  I think maybe we were separated at birth, MckMama and me....  Now, her youngest son Stellan is in the hospital battling a terrifying heart problem.  The Lord healed him while he was still in the womb, and now so many people are praying that He'll do it again.  Yesterday Stellan and his MckMama flew to Boston to prepare for surgery.  He's so very young, but has been through so much.  Meanwhile, he keeps smiling and his mama keeps inspiring everyone who reads her blog.  I can only imagine how many people this family has touched.  Please keep Stellan in your prayers anytime you think of him today!

Another sweet baby that I pray for on a regular basis is Kayleigh, who has lived in the NICU for over 9 months now.  She was only a pound when she was born, and is truly full of spirit!  She had a huge surgery yesterday and needs prayers for a full recovery.  The past 9 months have been incredably hard on her parents and siblings, and they have managed to keep smiling through it all.  Please pray for them, too!

As I mentioned before, please be in prayer for Annette as she battles cancer.  She is undergoing treatment right now, and I'm sure her family would appreciate your prayers.  Check out this post if you need a refresher on the Maxey Family Letter Project, but please keep it under your hat!

Now, please pray for these folks, and don't forget to lift your own praises to the Lord as well.  I'm sure He doesn't mind hearing our wants, needs, desires, crazy ideas....but don't you think He'd like to hear a thank you every now and then?  I know I would.  So go give thanks!  And post your praises and requests in the comments.  Knowing most of the people who lurk here, your needs will be lifted up and you'll be in everyone's thoughts all day.  Happy Friday!

It's Thursday Already?

As promised, I did manage to feel better today.  A lot better, actually.  Isn't it funny how you don't realize how bad you feel until you start to feel better? 

It was a good thing I felt better, too, because the guys installing our new cable were here at 9:30. This was after I overslept and ran down to work in my pajamas with no shower.  They left around.....4 PM.  Seriously.  It took forever to get both the cable and the internet to work  at all, much less correctly.  Luckily, I felt better, remember?

I did manage to get dinner fixed tonight, had a brief shopping trip with the hubby when he got home, and am now enjoying Thursday night TV with same hubby. Maybe tomorrow I'll tackle all the laundry and cleaning that I haven't done all week.  But hey, I feel better!

I Had a Monday

Yesterday, quite against my will, I Had A Monday.  You know what I mean -- when things go wrong left and right, everything you touch ends up on the floor, you manage to be sick out of the blue, and a kid hoarfs in your living room.  You've never had a Monday?  Lucky you.  I did, just yesterday.  Here it is, in bullet form:  

Things That Just Made My Monday

• I woke up sick as a dog.  
  
• I contemplated calling the daycare parents to say stay at home, but it was 7:40 which is entirely too late to re-route anyone.
  
• My stomach spent the entire day rebelling, but I managed to keep it in its place for the most part.
  
• Child #1 arrived "with a cold".  
  
• Child #1 took two bites of breakfast and heaved all over herself and the high chair in which she sat.
  
• Child #1 spiked a fever and went on home.
  
• Our water bill came.  It tripled in the month of March.
  
• We got the bill for Brian's MRI.  We may need to sell his kidneys now, if you're interested in purchasing one.
  
• The next occurance proved beyond a shadow of doubt that I am indeed not pregnant.
  
• I worked 13 hours in this condition, and then crashed hard.
  

Longest Monday ever.  If you know me in real life, you know just how well I deal with vomit, and with bills, for that matter.  Luckily, Brian took care of dinner and I spent the rest of the day (all two hours of it) on the couch.  Today has been moderately better (less of other people's bodily fluids on me, for sure) and I'm really hopeful for tomorrow.  Maybe by Thursday, I won't feel like death.  Yay for Tuesday!

The Velveteen Rabbit

Books are hugely important around our house, and we are already collecting some of our favorites to pass along to Baileys' To Come. The Velveteen Rabbit will be one of the first bigger-kid books our children read, I'm sure, though we don't have a copy yet. So when Plinky asked which book makes me nostalgic, I didn't have to think very hard!

This book had a huge impact on me. I was forever convinced that my stuffed animals could think, feel, and love. And if I didn't love them hard enough, they could be hurt. I was terrified of leaving someone out in the rain, or in a car overnight, or anywhere else their little stuffed hearts could get broken. I would rotate which animals I slept with at night so as to not leave anyone out. To this day, it pains me a little bit to see a child mistreat their toys.

At the same time, I loved this book as a kid! I still get all nostalgic when I see a collector's edition with the bunny included. *sniff*

Other things we'll have to have on hand will include all of Richard Scarry's books (Yay! Lowly Worm!) and tons of Dr. Seuss. And Pickles The Fire Cat, if I can find him (hey, look, I did!). We have bunches of classic Pooh on-hand already (none of that Disn.ey Pooh for us, thanks), and the Reader's Digest children's series we both grew up on. What are some of your favorite books from when you were a child?

Plinky is a site with blog idea prompts. Check it out, and let me know when you post so I can check you out!

How Tiny Spike Spent Good Friday

Seriously, how cute is this? Nothing like 25 pounds of cat curled up in a comfy bed.

Baileys Points

10 Baileys Points to Michelle for knowing that the title to my last post was a Marvin Gaye song. Be like Michelle, and follow my blog. 3.5 points if you knew that there was a 4 Non Blondes song by the same title. I was looking for Marvin Gaye, but I'll freely admit that I loved me some 4 Non Blondes, too.

Nothing much going on here. I have an ultra-light day of work so I'm making red beans and rice. The link isn't my exact recipe, just a similar one. Don't believe those times, though - it takes hours to get red beans and rice the way I like it. A simple dish, but one that is best served by making it slowly. It's a yearly tradition around our house, much anticipated by myself. I do share, though, since the recipe makes enough for an army. Dinner will be around 8, ya'll come.

Before that, Brian and I are hoping to make a set of twins the newest addition to our house. A twin set of these, that is:
Blackberry Storm is what I'm talking about. Our phones are about to kick the bucket (Brian's pretty much has, though he denies it hotly!) and we have our "new every two" credits. Plus, Blackberrys (Blackberries?) are Buy One Get One right now -- they're practically paying us to take two! That's the talk around our house right now, so I'm hoping Brian suggests making a little trip to the phone store tonight. Keep your fingers crossed! I love new gadgets!

Happy Easter, and I hope you all have wonderful weekend!

What's Goin' On, What's Goin' On

10 Baileys Points if you can identify the inspiration for the title for this post.

I know I said I'd try to update with what all has been going on around here lately, and then kept you all waiting. It's been a long couple of days, so bear with me. Nothing much terribly important has been going on in the grand scheme of things. Unless you are me, in which case it's been a seriously stressful two weeks. Here's the background....

I use the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor to keep track of my cycle and find the two most fertile days to get pregnant. I highly recommend this little gadget to anyone trying to get pregnant, infertile or not. In fact, when the YaYa Princess decides to have herself a little tax deduction, I'll be happy to loan her my monitor, provided it's not in use at the time. And at something like $200, begging/borrowing/stealing is highly recommended. I bought mine secondhand and will gladly pass it along when we're done with our family. You know, in like 10 years when it's probably obsolete. But I digress. Every morning at 7:30 I push the button on this handy little computer. It records the time and cycle day, and if necessary prompts me to pee on a stick (POAS, if you're part of the infertile community). Then I put the stick in the monitor, it does some manner of magical divination (or scientific reading, whatever) and tells me my Fertility Status. Low days are like any other day, high fertility days may be a good day for ...um...yeah. And The Peak Day is the most awaited day in all of Infertilityland. That day and the next day are the best days to get all knocked up, or inseminated if you're going the full medical route. A fortuitous day, no doubt. The science of this works like so:

Your body uses hormones to control your cycle and fertility. You know that, I'm sure. I start out the month (we call it a "cycle", you know...) with Clomid on cycle days 5-9. Somewhere around CD 11 I start P'ingOAS. The level of estrogen in your body (and consequently in your bloodstream) begins to increase as you near ovulation. A follicle or two begins to form on your ovary, which contains the egg. At this point, viola: "High Fertility" is indicated on the monitor. This is a good day for extracurricular activities, but not mandated. Ha! Man-dated. ;) 24-36 hours before you actually ovulate, your body releases lutenizing hormone, called LH. This is the handy little chemical that makes your follicle rupture, releasing the egg. The follicle goes on to do other cool things, but they are not part of this story. So, this LH surge is picked up by the fertility monitor in your urine (actually, my urine, thanks) and the monitor goes to Peak Fertility. This means: Get Busy. Ovulation will be in the next 24-36 hours, so the following day is good, too. Since an egg has a lifespan of 12-24 hours, you need to have the other ingredient there prior to the egg. Cart before the horse sort of situation. After your Peak Day, the monitor stops asking for test sticks and you go back to waiting. This is called the Two Week Wait (TWW) in the happy infertility community. Basically the length of time between ovulation and either your period or a pregnancy test.

Sounds easy enough, right? Except for this month, when my life went like this:

CD 5-9 Clomid

CD 11 commence peeing on technology

CD 18 high fertility reading -- right on track for me to ovulate at day 20 like usual. That day 14 thing is bull, by the way

CD 19-26 still high fertility. No peak, no change, just ...................................high.

At this point, I worried. Actually, I commenced worrying around CD 22, but that's neither here nor there. By CD 26, I called Jan The Very Cool Nurse at my fertility clinic. She was equally puzzled, and concerned, and scheduled me for an emergency appointment Tuesday morning. This meant Brian had to change his schedule really quickly and we had to pay for an ultrasound....again. This is a monthly occurrence, so not too big a deal. But worrisome when you don't have a little window in your abdomen to see what's goin' on. The likely scenario was that I had not ovulated, and was going to need a little further chemical encouragement to pop that follicle. Or that I had ovulated and the monitor had missed it somehow. You know, because $200 technology isn't foolproof. But if Jan was worried, that worried me. That's where I was when I posted the other day, letting you all know that I was off to the doc's.

The ultrasound showed at least one, and possibly two follicles on my ovaries. It was impossible to tell if they were ready to pop, or if they already had ruptured and were now corpus luteum-s. Corpi lutei? Only a blood test would tell, checking for that ever-useful hormone, progesterone. I've posted about that before, so I'll spare you the link. An elevated progesterone level would indicate that I had ovulated, and a low level would indicate that I needed help to do so. Help in the form of a "trigger shot" of hCG. Since I was unable to stay in Charlottesville to get the shot if my blood work came back low, I got to learn how to give myself a shot, and was sent home with syringes and hCG to shoot myself up later that night. I was told to call back in an hour for my results.

This is where it gets a bit anti-climactic. My progesterone level was an 11, which indicates that I ovulated. The doctor estimated that it was around CD 20, based on my progesterone level. My monitor missed it. Two weeks of wondering and worrying, 2 hours of driving across the mountain, $130 of doctor's bills and hCG costs, and a 20 minute lesson in how to stab myself effectively in the stomach because of a minor technological malfunction. Fun, and totally typical in the infertility journey that tons of people travel. The good news is that I ovulated, and that our timing may have been good, and I'll know in a week or so if I'm in the family way. Praying, you know.

Here's what just popped into my mind: no one knew about this but the people in this house. That day was stressful and a bit scary (read this link to understand why: Ovarian Hyperstimulation), and no one knew. Because infertility isn't something you talk about, or put on your church's prayer list, or mention to your grandmother or cousin, or sometimes even your best friend. I've been amazed lately to find out the people that we know that struggled or still do struggle with infertility. All by ourselves, usually. I once mentioned to the YaYa Princess that no one makes eye contact in the fertility clinic waiting room. It's kind of weird, actually. So I would encourage you to make yourself open to your friends and family so that if they need to talk they feel comfortable. It can be a cold, lonely journey, and I really wish that everyone had as many outlets as we do. We're blessed with family and friends who are open to hearing about our weird experiences, too much information, and blogs about cervices. Not everyone is this lucky, so please be understanding and gentle to them. Maybe there's someone at work who is grouchy, or seems tired or irritable. They may be dealing with infertility quietly, and need someone to care. You may be able to help someone who is going through such a situation as we faced this cycle. Uncertainty, failure, and anxiety are not fun -- be a help to someone you know!

Now, I'm off to bed. Having spent an entire day dealing with vertigo for some reason, I'm exhausted. Smooches to you all, thanks for listening, and goodnight. Oh, and a shout out to The Bum - we heard about Cooper's little journey away from home, and we'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. I hope he's home soon!! Night, ya'll.

New a-Comin'

Hey, ya'll.  Big things are a-foot and I'm headed to the doctor tomorrow.  I am NOT pregnant, so come down off the ceiling.  I was hoping to post about it tonight to keep you all in the loop, but have run out of time.  So I'll put it up tomorrow sometime.  In the meantime, we'd appreciate prayers and thoughts tomorrow.  My appointment is at 10:30.  Thanks!