Welcome to Fall!

Happy Fall! This is the season that I was made for, I'm convinced. I love Fall in all its glory: cooler weather, gorgeous colors, family gatherings, holidays, and snuggling up on the couch. However, this year I may actually miss Summer a little bit. Here are some things that I'll miss about this summer:

Beautiful Brides and the
Men Who Love Them

My Front Porch Garden

Making Pies From Extra-Fresh Ingredients



Grilling Our Dinner Every Night

However, I am looking forward to further mastery of the crockpot, making seafood chowder, pointless drives looking for deer to count, Sunday evenings on Skyline Drive, The Second Annual Baileys Halloween Gathering (coming soon!), mums on the front porch, and, of course, Mountaineer Football, provided it improves greatly. Ordinarily, I'd include the World Series, but I don't want to talk about it this year. I may boycott.

Whatever your favorite season is, I hope you enjoy it. Happy Fall!

Clean Teeth, Unhappy Belly

Howdy, peeps. I have clean teeth. Before you think "Andi, that's random and has no relevance here!", trust me. I went to the dentist today. Now, join me in running your tongue over your teeth. Ah, I love that feeling! On to other things....

Like side-effects. My mother likes to point out to me (repeatedly and every time we talk) that in seven years of fertility treatments, she never had a single side effect to any of the drugs she took. Isn't that nice for her? Bless her heart. I, meanwhile, am officially on Side Effect Day. My personal name for the day that all the drugs finally kick in (Tuesday night....Wednesday...and BAM! Side Effect Day commences) and I feel like death. Last night, I took my mega-dose (apparently horribly dangerous for me, according to the pharmacist) of Provera. Here's a great thing about progesterone: it can make you sleep like a log. Or a stone. Or a baby (not really - I hear they wake up a lot). Anyhoo, you sleeeeeeep. Unfortunately, that was awesome with 5 little milligrams of progesterone. Quad-flippin'-druple that, and I had serious, serious trouble waking up today. And staying awake. It finally wore off somewhere around noon. When the doubled dose of Metformin kicked in, making me want to hurl.

Some of you my remember 2004, when I began taking Met. My appendages would go numb and tingly (Brian still finds this hilarious), my blood sugar would plummet to around 60 (much less hilarious), and I would get sick from any and all sugar, Chinese food, and lettuce. That lettuce part never went away, and every salad I eat is a bittersweet blessing. I miss them, but they hate me. Well, I'm on double that dosage now. Ah, my stomach is so very happy. Only JustMe can fully understand, I think. She has an unhappy belly, too. Ugh.

So, tonight I took my drugs early, hoping that lovely Provera-induced sleep would wear off a bit earlier tomorrow, making work less of a chore. Now, I'm trying so very, very hard to stay awake through the West Virginia game. Brian is edgy and mentally pacing the room (almost worse than physically pacing), and it's 14-7 with 5:19 to go in the 3rd quarter. WVU is not winning, sadly. Luckily, however, there is no blood on the field so far. OOOOOOOOH! Literally as I was typing that, my darling Pat White scored. I have to go watch now. Let's Goooooo, Mountaineers!!!!

Lazy Night In

I'm officially having a lazy night staying home and doing very little. I finished teaching (for the night! for the week!) and made dinner. It was a very nice chicken enchilada casserole that is the very epitome of comfort food, if you need something of that sort. Now I'm hanging out on the couch, reading my new favorite blog and hoping for some kitty-lovin' to keep my feet comfortable. Brian should be home in an hour or so, and I may even still be awake.

Mama dropped my prescription for Provera off at the pharmacy tonight, because she's really cool. When I went to pick it up, I got the third degree. The tech at the register couldn't find my prescription, but "remembered that one". The pharmacist came over, looking very serious.

"Do you remember what dosage he prescribed for you?" I figured he had spilled water on my scrip or whatnot.

"Yes, sir. 20 milligrams." Actually, I originally said two hundred and had to backtrack; my verbal skills are often lacking.

"Do you know why your doctor would prescribe such a heavy dosage for you?" At this point, I got annoyed. I DO indeed know why, and I DON'T indeed think it's the business of all the techs, the people in line, or the pharmacist himself. Progesterone has about three uses: 1) As hormone replacement therapy in menopausal women; 2) To keep you pregnant in high-risk pregnancies where you might miscarry; and 3) To start your period if you fail to have one on your own. Maybe there are other uses; either way, nunya. So, I got a bit smart-alecky.

"Yes, sir, I do." No more, no less.

"Because there is absolutely nothing in the literature that advises prescribing more than 10 milligrams of this to anyone." He looked at me like I was trying to pass off a fake prescription. For progesterone, for crying out loud. It makes you edgy and crampy, and hopefully will start your period. I bet there's a huge black market demand for that.

"Okay," I said. I gave him my best no-nonsense face, encouraging him to fill my prescription already.

"I don't even have enough on hand to fill this completely. You'll have to come back in a few days for the rest."

I let him know that would be no problem, and that he'd be seeing a lot more of me, rest assured. Seriously, though, how rude was that?

I got over it, though. Some Dark M&Ms helped greatly.

Later, The Bum and I talked about our upcoming business ventures, and I realized that I seriously need to get crackin' on some salves for Baileys Basics. I've been a bit lax. I'm realizing just how distracted I've been lately with our fertility issues. After my last appointment with Slush, we've been talking a lot about adoption. Definitely an option, regardless. Now, since our appointment with Guru Williams, I feel like he's in control (after God, of course!) and I can just take my medication like a good girl, do the necessary deeds, and leave it to Doc and God. I feel like we've been given some hope again. I also feel like maybe I can move on with my life emotionally and do the things I enjoy (making salves! Grinding herbs! Researching packaging!) until I find myself all preggo.

Well, my partner in crime is home, feeling nasty, and needing comfort. Luckily, I have some comfort food available upstairs! Have a lovely night, my faithful blog readers. your numbers are growing, and I thank you! Leave comments and let us know who you are!

The Fertility Guru said....

Hi, all. Forgive me for not calling everyone; my cell battery is dead as a doornail.

We had our appointment with the almighty Fertility Gurus today at 2 PM. In case you're not sure, it's an hour and ten minutes to RMSCVA from here, so we had to leave (ideally) by 12:30. We left around 12:50, of course. We arrived at 1:55 to a gorgeous facility (click that link -- I'm serious, it's gorgeous). I've stayed in many an uglier hotel. We had filled our paperwork out ahead of time, so we had a long wait in the nicely appointed waiting room. Here, there were some clues that this is not your average doctor's office, but one that expects you to arrive as a couple, and may be serving either partner. There are Sports Illustrateds and hunting magazines on the tables. There is a copy of Dr. Williams' book, The Fastest Way to Get Pregnant Naturally on the table, too. There were several couples there today, and the men kept disappearing to other rooms.... And returning with "samples". Ever seen a man return with a packet of his own swimmers, hand it to his wife and watch her put it someplace warm? All this happened like it was completely a normal occurrence. I realized we were going to love it here :)

We were called back by Dr. Williams himself, not a nurse. He is apparently a PCOS genius/specialist/certified guru, and we are officially in couple-y love with him. He was kind, funny, and informative. He did not yell at me for being fat, humiliating me in front of my husband. He didn't make us feel bad about our shortcomings as breeding humans. He managed to do a pelvic exam (and visual! yikes!) and ultrasound without making me cringe in embarrassment. He managed not to tickle me while finding my ovaries externally, either, which is a Feat.

Basically, we're waiting on test results, but we have come to some conclusions. I have a lot of symptoms of PCOS, and a probable diagnosis, especially considering our family history of it. However, I have a lot of symptoms that are definitely not PCOS-related, and in fact are contrary to it. So, I gave up 5 vials of blood to have a complete panel worked up to see what it might be that's ravaging my body so. It may just be non-typical PCOS. Or there may be an underlying cause that is either in addition to or mimics PCOS. We'll know in about a week or two, depending on when results come back.

For those of you who are medical-minded:
My ovaries were normal sized, which is unusual in PCOS, and my uterine lining (up to 5 mm this month!! woot!) is thin, of course, which is directly contrary to most PCO women. I was referred for a hysterosalpingogram after ten days of Provera. Provera is progesterone, but about 4 times the amount that I had before. With 5 mm of lining (woot!) and stronger meds, we're expecting company. Good ole Aunt Flo!

Basically, what it comes down to is this: Barring any negative results from Brian's semen analysis, which we don't expect, Dr. Williams', certified Fertility Guru, thinks we should have no big trouble getting pregnant. He said to stop temping in the morning, as he is now in charge of manipulating my cycle. He said to stop using the fertility monitor, take my meds, and just let them handle my treatment. He doubled my Metformin (I'll be nauseous for the next year or so) and doubled my Clomid. We are officially medicated out the wazoo and ready to go, folks. And, here ya go....he said he fully expects drugs to work, and isn't even seeing IVF as a possibility or necessity. Which, since we had drawn the line on this side of that procedure, is reassuring. We won't need what we don't want and can't afford!

Needless to say, this is all a bunch of huge blessings and we are amazingly pleased. We are definitely giving praise tonight, and feel that lots of prayers are already being answered. Thank you to everyone who's been on their knees for us; we really appreciate it, and know it helped. I'm realizing just how stressed I've been about this appointment, and what we might hear. I have no big problem trusting the Lord in all this, but waiting to see His will is stressful! I slept like a baby the whole way home, and Brian passed out on the couch as soon as we were in the door. I think we've both been a little keyed up!

So, in closing, here is our prayer list for the next two weeks:
For concrete results from Andrea's bloodwork
For a clear analysis for Brian (poor boy, what he goes through for babies....)
For a decent menses (that's a period, ya'll) for Andrea
For a clear hyterosalpingogram for Andrea
For as few side effects from Metformin and Clomid as possible for Andrea
For patience for Brian with a nauseated, less-than-pleasant wifey laying around, trying not to puke.
For a baby, of course!

Smooches to you all, praise to God for good answers so far, and goodnight!

Seriously, it's the 15th already?!

So, where has September gone?! And what have I been doing with it? It's been busy, I can tell you that. No time has gone to waste, rest assured. We celebrated my birthday for about a week straight, which I personally think is a wonderful idea. We started to see Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy a little more often, as they have emerged from Newlywedville for a peek around. The Godson started running, and not just because his mama is chasing him with a bar of soap for that mouth. Allie and Matt got all hitched up, but that happened before September. But we're still recovering. I've had laid back weeks at work, thanks to parents that are taking late vacations.

This past week, I fall cleaned Baileys Castle. Which includes way too many bathrooms, just for the record. Brian was a huge help, and we even steamed all the carpets and put goodies up on the attic. The house looks amazing, I have to say. I do so love a clean house, complete with vacuum tracks and shiny fixtures in the bathrooms. This led up to a Pampered Chef kitchen show this weekend, and the Hill Reunion yesterday. So, needless to say, I'm exhausted, sore, and content in my clean abode.

So, why haven't I written about any of this, or posted any pictures? Because something much, much bigger has been looming in my mind. Namely, that tomorrow is our appointment with the Fertility Gurus. I am absolutely terrified. I'm not sure why; it's probably just a "get to know you" appointment, and nothing great and powerful will be revealed. But I'm scared nonetheless. Scared of what we might hear, scared that there will be some hideously concrete finding about our lack of fertility, scared that Brian is going to run screaming away when he hears that dreaded number of my weight, equally scared we will both run screaming away when we hear the cost of this little endeavor. I do not give up control easily, so this is obviously a big, horrid deal for me. Appointments dealing with our fertility so far have been horribly emotional. We've decided to counteract this by having dinner with Bro and Liz afterwards, since they live remarkably near our Gurus. I am sooooo looking forward to that, so I'm ignoring what happens at 2:00.

So, forgive me if I haven't been the blogger extrodinaire as of late (or ever?). I hereby promise to do better. I'll certainly keep you updated after tomorrow's appointment, too.

If it's not too much to ask, please pray for us tomorrow. We really covet them, and know you'll be there with us!

Update from the doctor

Yesterday was my follow up appointment with Slush. Here's a little background in case you need it: PCOS sucks, I don't ovulate, I have literally no uterine lining. After a month of estrogen replacement therapy and progesterone to simulate a normal cycle, I started Clomid this cycle, about 24 days ago. At that point, I planned for blood work to check my natural progesterone level and made an appointment with Slush. It's all timed out to coincide with particular cycle days, and the blood work is to make sure that I ovulated, based on progesterone level.

So, I went to Slush's office to follow up and plan our next attack. I already knew that I hadn't ovulated, based on my daily temperature chart. Slush was nothing if not honest and blunt. She said that my progesterone level was an "abysmal" 1.4. It should be around 20. Based on my lack of uterine lining coupled with my abysmal progesterone level, we had a few options...
1. Increase the level of Clomid
2. Skip straight to Femera, the 2nd line of fertility drugs
3. Go to the reproductive gurus at Martha Washington

Slush said that she doesn't think that a higher dose of Clomid is going to do a thing. And that skipping to Femera leaves us nowhere to go. And, given my numbers, it most likely won't work. We can try Steps 1 and 2 and then refer me, but that's wasting time, energy, and emotional toil. Because she doesn't think it's going to work anyway. So, Slush said she pretty much had nothing more to offer me, except a referral across the mountain. Check out their website, if you'd like. If you've heard good things, please leave me a comment. I'll be seeing Dr. Williams, who it seems is knowledgeable in PCOS issues.

As always, losing weight is key in PCOS management. As though we all want to be fat, right? Whatever. Low carb diets have been reported to work well with PCOS, and I have followed a low carb diet in the past. We now focus on a natural, un-processed diet with little refined white sugar or other fake food. We like to use whole grains and honey or other natural sweeteners. Not eating grains, fruit, or vegetables is alien to our way of eating now. It's not like we've always eaten this way, but it's been keeping us healthy and boosted our immune systems. Now, I'll be eating meat. Lots of protein, little to no carbs. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Please, have a piece of bread in honor of me.

Okay, laundry calls. My appointment is September 16, at 2 PM, if you're the praying type person. We'd appreciate it.

It's been a Month?!

Seriously, I am a horrid blogger. I realize that. I apologize. However, I am still completely amazed that it's even September, much less a fifth of the way through. As you may know, this has been my first Clomid cycle, which has been interesting. But apparently not effective. My chart says I didn't ovulate. I went for bloodwork Tuesday and have an appointment with Slush in about 40 minutes, so I'll let you know. Meanwhile, I've gained 9 pounds (in my face, I think....) and feel like I've been hit by a truck. It's not been too bad as far as being moody, though. Brian says it's been better than he expected; I think he expected the Bride of Frankenstein. Some days I've felt that way, though!
Okay, I'm off to the doctor. Keep your fingers crossed!