Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Thoughts From The Asylum

Just a few random thoughts and universal truths for you this morning.....

If you pack your child's lunch and place their sandwich in a handy, eco-friendly sandwich keeper, you can probably get away without also using a plastic bag. Thanks for the double packaging!

If your child can sing all the songs on Noggin and tell you what comes on next, she watches too much television. Since she's only seeing an hour at daycare tops (and usually PBS), this means you watch too much TV at home.

Given a room full of toys, books, potato heads, and friends, some kids will still choose to lay on the couch and do nothing at all. Or in the middle of the floor. This same child will yell at their friends for then walking on them.

If you and your wife/husband are going to tell the daycare provider a blatant lie about your child's behavior at home, please get your stories straight. We can remember what we heard at 7:30 when we hear the opposite at 5:30 from someone else, I promise you.

If you take your child to the potty every half an hour, she is not potty trained. You are trained.

Committees exist for a reason. They are not there to simply agree with you and to be ignored when they don't.

Cats who scratched nothing at all when you lived in a hovel will shred walls, furniture, and carpet in the house you love and are still paying for.

Your child does not need applesauce and yogurt in the same meal. He has teeth for a reason, I think.

The child who is bossed around by older siblings will boss her friends at daycare.

All the really horrible things you allow your child to say at home, or God forbid say to her, will come right out at daycare while she talks on the play phone. Daycare providers will later discuss these hilarities amongst themselves, and probably judge you. Not me, of course. I'm just saying.

When you use your Blackberry as a home phone and general lifeline to the world, it's hard to find time for a two hour software update. Thanks for making that so hard, Verizon!

Enjoy your Hump Day, folks. This is my last full day alone!!! Tomorrow, what I learned while Brian was gone. It's been a learning sort of week, hasn't it?

No comments: