Monday, March 29, 2010

Don't You Hate Suspense?

In interest of not keeping anyone in suspense, I thought I'd let you know that we started a new cycle today. In other words, I'm not pregnant. I'm really okay with it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I had a (few) good cries, I leaned on Brian, I ate popcorn for lunch. I drank some fully-caffeinated Earl Grey de la creme tea, and lusted after sushi delivery that I couldn't afford. I also had such a crazy day that I eventually was able to get it off my mind.
Please don't tell me you're sorry. I know, and I've heard that a few times today (and said it more than a few), and just really can't take it again. While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm really okay. We're committed to following God's timing, so we have to accept it even when we don't agree. He doesn't need us to anyway.
So why is this such a shock? Because of the evidence my body was presenting me with during this TWW. You may notice a new button on the right sidebar of my blog, linking to a site where I track my TWW symptoms. It keeps me from making anyone else crazy. Unfortunately, I just found it last week, so I still had a week before that to annoy the heck out of a few people. Now I'll have a place to put those thoughts without being so...up front? out loud? in your face? Whatever. It's over there, and it will be updated during each TWW.
Well, that's what's going on in my little world. I spent a good part of the day utterly crushed. Another good chunk being run ragged by the little creatures in my house. I'm exhausted, drained, and empty. So tomorrow has to be better, right?
Meanwhile, this has me feeling a lot better....

26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:26-29,31

No comments: