Heading Across The Mountain

I can tell that in the past nine months or so you've all just dearly missed hearing about all our reproductive nightmares. I know, I know. You just need to hear about periods, ovulation, cramps, and side effects. And whoa! The internal ultrasound details. I hear you, I feel your pain and longing. So, just for you, we're going back to the clinic in search of a baby. You know, so you can hear about vomiting, nausea, cramps, and birth plans. Sounds like a win-win, no?

Seriously, though, this is my first month back on Clomid. Or The Clomid, as I like to call it. Like The Heroin. It's currently day 26 of this cycle, and it's a bust. But we're cool with that, because it was through no fault of our own. I'll explain in a bit.

In case you are not completely versed in the ways of infertility and how one gets All Knocked Up Using Medical Science, lemme give you the run down. I'll educate folks, because I happen to know that my readership has doubled since the last time we were trying to get pregnant. You know, from two to four people now tortured by my drivel! It all starts (for me, at least) with 10 days of progesterone to start a period. Which worked for me this month for the first time since I was 17. Yay for small victories!! On the fifth cycle day, I started with 200 milligrams of Clomid. I take this nightly for 5 days (cycle day, or CD, 5-9). My fertility monitor starts asking for test sticks around CD 8 or 9, and this month went to "Medium Fertility" on CD 10. Usually that's closer to CD 16 for me, so this was unusual. My monitor usually goes to "Peak Fertility" and I typically ovulate on CD 20, and then go to the clinic for an ovary check via internal ultrasound and blood work around CD 22 or 23. Except for this month....when my monitor failed to move past "Medium". It's CD 26 and according to the monitor I haven't ovulated and am not close. Which I am pretty sure is wrong, based on what my body is telling me. So, I'm off to the doctor to be poked and prodded, donate some blood for a progesterone test, and see what's up. Unfortunately, I don't get to see our regular guru this month, but instead will see his partner. Who is a lovely doctor and very knowledgeable. With no bedside manner. I always come back from visits with Dr. Williams happy and positive, holding out hope that maybe I'm pregnant. From Dr. Bateman, I come back home and wait for my period since he's sure I'm not pregnant and a complete failure. You get the idea.

So that's the process. Now, why is it not our fault this month is a bust? Because our involvement in this process is limited: Take medications. Pee on sticks. Do the necessary actions on Peak Day and the day after. Show up for ovary check a week later. Lather, rinse, repeat. We were ready, willing, and able to do all of that....except the Peak Day part. Because the monitor didn't give us any heads up, and your chances of becoming pregnant by happy coincidence is somewhere around 30%, if I'm not mistaken. I think the problem is that our box of test sticks is set to expire in March. So maybe they're too old to do the trick. We'll try again next month with freshly-minted technology pee sticks and see what happens. We're not too upset, and we're not really disappointed, because if I ovulated then we're on the right track. Besides -- we'll get pregnant when God wants us to, and not a moment before.

This afternoon I'll be off to the doctor, across the mountain. It'll be a short, quick trip so I won't get to see Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy (hi, guys!). Hopefully I'll be coming home to put up curtains in our bedroom. Yay for making a house look like you live there....after two and a half years..... Anyway, by the time you read this, I should be in the car and striking out for Charlottesville. Brian will be staying with the kids - pray for him.