Baileys Adventures

I've Moved!

2010-04-22T10:41:00.001-04:00

Please click here to be redirected to my new blog.....

My Blog Is Growing Up....

2010-04-19T22:00:00.001-04:00

When I started this blog, Brian and I were just married. There were a lot of adjustments to make, and we were starting to think about trying to have a baby. I originally wanted to hide this blog, to keep it just for myself and maybe a friend or two. Definitely not the majority of our family or complete "strangers". I griped a lot, used the F word copiously, and didn't censor myself at all.

And then, eventually, I changed. I started censoring myself in real life a bit (those of you who know me IRL are shocked, I know), I've been trying to watch my potty mouth, and I'm much more open about our fertility issues. I've realized that most people with infertility hide it from everyone in their lives, and so compound the isolation we already feel. I flat refuse to do that, in case you haven't noticed. I try to live my life as an example of certain things, and how to deal with IF without going crazy is one of those things. We cannot be defined by our fertility or lack thereof any more than we can be defined by the books we read, jobs we hold, or car we drive. I'm going to deal with my infertility right out loud.

Now, I share this blog address on my Facebook page, via Twitter updates, and give it to family and friends. I want people to be familiar with what's going on in our lives, not just infertility but our many ~~mis~~adventures. My blog has become my forum, my chance to make a tiny difference. The chance to share my faith in Christ, to help others dealing with infertility, and get the thoughts rattling around in my head out and about. As I try to do this more often, there are a few things that I want to be able to do. Things that Blogger doesn't allow. And lately ol' Blogger and I have been fighting more often than not.

So, much as I left LiveJournal when my blogging needs outgrew it, I am leaving Blogger. I invite you all to join me at my new address.....

The Baileys Adventures

thebaileysadventures.wordpress.com

I tried to get "Baileys Adventures", but somebody named Bailey apparently thought she'd post about her adventures, too. Except that she never had any and there is nothing on her site. So add 'The' and come on over. Make note of the new address, change your blog readers, edit your bookmarks. Because the boxes are packed, the truck is loaded, the posts are exported, and I'm heading to WordPress. There's a post there waiting for you, too....

Thank God...It's Friday!

2010-04-16T13:00:00.002-04:00

Praises

Uncle Roy was sent home from UVA a few days ago. Apparently his doctors think he'll heal faster and regain more abilities if he's in a familiar environment. Word on the family grapevine is that he's still quite out of it and confused, and is having some trouble with falling. While we're all so thankful that he's even alive and that he had relatively minor injuries compared to what could have happened, the family will definitely still need prayers as they try to work out care schedules and keep Uncle Roy and Aunt Margie safe.

So far, the news is good for friends and family who were fearing for their jobs in the Virginia public school system!

My friend Turkeymary bought a house this week!

I think I have it worked out to allow me to continue to sell baby and child-related products like slings, felt play food, etc. I've been talking with the vendor contact at the store here in town that carries my products, and we're pretty sure we've found a way to follow the law without breaking the bank. I'll update further on the business blog. Thanks for prayers and ideas during this time!

Requests

This is a rough day for a friend. She has a lot on her plate, as well. Please keep her in your prayers as led.

MadHat76's dog at yet another sock. This one earned him a trip to surgery. Please pray for him (and her!) as he heals.

My friend Arinne's wife is expecting their first baby any minute! Hopefully this wait will go quickly for them and they'll have him to love on soon.

Work is kind of crazy right now. It's the same every time I have a new baby, and will pass soon enough, but prayers for sanity would be appreciated.

Little Bro has laryngitis. Yuck and no fun!

The man who was in the wreck with Uncle Roy is still in critical care at UVA, and from what I've heard is still on a ventilator.

Have I mentioned we'd like to get pregnant this month? Just puttin' it out there....

**As a little housekeeping note, Mama let me know that some of the pictures from the alpaca farm weren't showing up. I fixed them, I hope. Check it out!

Have a great weekend!

2010-04-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

I love to grill out. As soon as it's warm enough, I fire up the grill and keep using it until it's so cold and dark I can't stand to be out on the deck. Once we get the chance to wash off the furniture we usually have dinner on the back porch, soaking up the ~~vitamin D~~ sunshine and spending some time not in front of the TV.

Before I met Brian, I had a little tabletop grill. It was the perfect size for my itty bitty, teeny tiny, two-people-and-one-shared-cigarette balcony at my apartment, and was great for camping. I actually went through two or three of them in the years before I met Brian. When we moved to our ~~hovel~~ old house, we put the grill in the cellar because we had no real place to grill out ~~without stray cats stealing our meat~~. When we moved here to the Square, we bought a brand-new, cobweb-free tabletop grill for our deck, and it's served us very well.

That is, until I lit it on fire last year. Twice. I don't remember if I blogged about it or not, but last summer while Brian was gone for work I grilled some chicken with the skin on. Big mistake. The grill lit up like some manner of burning bush, and the flames threatened to burn down our deck. There are slight black burn marks on our deck wall (why do our decks here have walls? Anyone?) to memorialize my grilling prowess. I am deathly afraid of fire, and was completely terrified by the idea that I nearly burnt our house down. Those flames were four feet high, and the baking soda was inside the house. I finally grabbed it and put out the conflagration. The grill caught on fire again later in the summer, albeit in a much smaller manner. There was an insane amount of residual chicken grease in the bottom of the grill, and I've never really felt safe about it since.

What I didn't know was that when something catches on fire, it often rusts. Like rusts out. You can see how traumatic the fire(s) was by the fact that the top of that grill used to be red. The paint burnt off. O-F-F, ya'll. Burnt. it. off.

So, we were in need of a new grill. $40 would get us a new tabletop grill at the local Wally World.

But then! My amazing husband called! From work! Where they had received a shipment of Holy Cow Amazing How I Lust After It grills. For an insanely reasonable price and the benefit of an additional employee discount. He asked me to come out and look at it, and we brought it home to live with us forever.

**insert a choir of angels singing here*

Brian put it together last week and then helped me light it up. I love to grill, and I have never been afraid of propane or my grill. But read about that fire again...and know that I was terrified. Which disappointed and embarrassed me. Brian helped me, and I'm totally okay with it now. I just had this irrational fear of setting our deck alight. Can't imagine why.

I marinated up some chicken thighs in our favorite marinade, and tossed some asparagus with olive oil, salt, and pepper.

A few minutes of hot, searing, yum-inducing heat, and viola'! Let there be dinner!

Here's the recipe I used for the marinade. I use it pretty much weekly in the summer, and it's wonderful. I can't take a bit of credit for it, though. I got it from Recipezaar about two years ago. It's basically idiot proof. Enjoy!

California Marinade

Combine the following in a jar and shake vigorously:

1/4 cup olive oil

1/4 cup lemon juice

2 TB Worcestershire sauce

1-3 dashes of Tabasco sauce

2 TB apple cider vinegar

2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. sugar

2 cloves of crushed, minced, or pressed garlic

Marinate meat or vegetables for a few hours. Brush over meat while grilling.

Forest Fire

2010-04-13T09:00:00.003-04:00

On our way to the alpaca farm Sunday, we noticed some smoke on the mountain ridge north of Route 259 by the West Virginia state line. Last week there were several red flag fire warnings, so we knew the possibility of forest fires was high. Seeing the mountain burn is sadly pretty common around here, but always heartbreaking. We saw some fire crews already set up by the roadside, taking ATVs back over the ridge to fight the fire. At that point, they were probably digging ditches to stem the fire's progression. There was a tent set up providing refreshment for the firefighters, and a rescue squad handy just in case.

By the time we headed back home from the farm, the fire had spread and grown much larger. As best we could tell, the fire was back behind the ridge, so we could only see the smoke.

A Visit to the Alpaca Farm!

2010-04-12T19:00:00.002-04:00

On Sunday, I went to Lost River, West Virginia with Mama, Daddy, and Uncle Larry. Daddy has a friend with an alpaca farm and we've been meaning to get over there to see them for months. Sunday was gorgeous and none of us had plans, so we hopped in a van and took off after church.

These little animals are so fun! They're gentle and sensitive, and I was amazed to see their interactions with their owners and with each other. Here are a few pictures from our trip...

Inside the barn with the girls

Connie, who is due to have a baby any day, on the left. I'm not sure who's on the right.

Daddy feeds the boys. They ate rabbit food as treats.

Their mouths are very soft, and their upper lips are split to move independently! Daddy was spit on pretty early in the day by Lilly, and then was shunned by most of the other alpacas!

Teddy on the right. He spit a little before this. When they spit, alpacas' bottom lips are frozen open for 20-30 minutes! So Teddy's teeth were sticking out.

I don't remember this guy's name, but he was extra-sweet. He let me rub his nose and tried to eat my camera.

Naomi, who is due in September, and Manny. Manny is an award-winning show alpaca, and very sweet!

After we spent a few hours playing with the alpacas, we headed to Lost River Grill for a late lunch and then home. We're hoping to go back soon to see either Connie or Naomi's babies, so I'm sure there'll be more pictures. Needless to say, this trip only fueled my desire to have a little alpaca herd of my own someday!

Thank God...It's Friday! The Saturday Edition

2010-04-10T00:02:00.002-04:00

Yeah, yeah, so I didn't get this put up on Friday. With the week I've had, it's a miracle I even have the presence of mind to type. So here you have it....

Praises

This week I am literally thanking God that I made it through. It's been a long one and all my kids were nutty this week. I'm actually looking forward to trying to Spring clean this weekend....

Uncle Roy is conscious and seems to be improving. He has two places bleeding in his brain, but the scans from this afternoon were improved over the ones from 4 AM. He also has a broken shoulder bone. He has no memory of the accident. The other driver has internal bleeding and is currently on a ventilator. So in the midst of praise, prayers are still needed.

Requests

A couple from our new church is currently in the process of adopting their son from Russia. They are waiting on his visa to be approved and hope to travel to Russia in about four weeks to pick him up and have their Russian court date. Unfortunately, today the Russian government starting making threats to freeze all US adoptions. While they are justified in their reaction to a horrible incident, making thousands of new adoptive parents suffer is not the answer. Please be in prayer for our new friends and their son, as well as anyone affected by this.

A friend's wife should be having their baby soon (update us, you know who you are....). Please lift them up in prayer as they grow their family.

Several friends are looking for work or are facing unemployment.

Please keep MadHat76's grandfather in your prayers as he undergoes treatment for cancer.

YaYaPrincess' pooch has been sick. God loves dogs, too, you know.

Two of the families whose blogs I follow are observing the one year anniversary of their children's deaths this week. I cannot even imagine how hard this would be. Please keep them in your prayers.

Thursday Night Prayer Request

2010-04-08T22:20:00.002-04:00

Mama called me earlier tonight to let me know that my Uncle Roy was being transported to UVA. Earlier today Mama received a call saying that Uncle Roy was missing and his family was looking for him. He was supposed to pick up his great-granddaughter from school, and never showed up. After frantically searching for him and contacting the local hospital several times, the family finally found him in the ER. He was in a very bad car wreck on the way to the school. The med-flight from our local hospital came to the scene to take both Uncle Roy and the other driver to UVA, but Uncle Roy refused to go. After being taken to the ER, he was transported tonight to UVA by ambulance. From what I understand, he has bleeding in his brain and is in very critical condition. Please keep Uncle Roy, his family, and the doctors and nurses who are working on him in your prayers. Uncle Roy's wife is my Aunt Margie, who you may remember has been very ill as well. This family has been through a lot lately and would appreciate it if you would keep them lifted up. Thank you!

Good Friday!

2010-04-02T23:52:00.002-04:00

I don't really have anything amazing to write today. No big, philosophical post about Good Friday and what that means to me. Simply put, Easter Sunday is the most important day in the Christian year. Sure, Jesus' birth was a big deal. But we are not saved by His birth, but rather by the grace given us through His death. And that death is commemorated today with Good Friday. That's a huge, huge deal. So I'll leave it at that.

Last night we attended the Maundy Thursday service at our new church. We loved it! The fellowship and emphasis on service and Christ were amazing, and we met so many new people. We're really liking this new church and I look forward to the Easter service there this Sunday!

Don't You Hate Suspense?

2010-03-29T23:38:00.004-04:00

In interest of not keeping anyone in suspense, I thought I'd let you know that we started a new cycle today. In other words, I'm not pregnant. I'm really okay with it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I had a (few) good cries, I leaned on Brian, I ate popcorn for lunch. I drank some fully-caffeinated Earl Grey de la creme tea, and lusted after sushi delivery that I couldn't afford. I also had such a crazy day that I eventually was able to get it off my mind.

Please don't tell me you're sorry. I know, and I've heard that a few times today (and said it more than a few), and just really can't take it again. While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm really okay. We're committed to following God's timing, so we have to accept it even when we don't agree. He doesn't need us to anyway.

So why is this such a shock? Because of the evidence my body was presenting me with during this TWW. You may notice a new button on the right sidebar of my blog, linking to a site where I track my TWW symptoms. It keeps me from making anyone else crazy. Unfortunately, I just found it last week, so I still had a week before that to annoy the heck out of a few people. Now I'll have a place to put those thoughts without being so...up front? out loud? in your face? Whatever. It's over there, and it will be updated during each TWW.

Well, that's what's going on in my little world. I spent a good part of the day utterly crushed. Another good chunk being run ragged by the little creatures in my house. I'm exhausted, drained, and empty. So tomorrow has to be better, right?

Meanwhile, this has me feeling a lot better....

26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,

and complain, O Israel,

"My way is hidden from the LORD;

my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:26-29,31

Please Pray

2010-03-28T01:08:00.002-04:00

There is a blog that I have followed for a little while now. More specifically, I had read about Eva on one of the other blogs I read and recently checked out Eva's own blog. I just adored her outlook and spunky personality, and read through her archives in about two weekends. She received a double lung transplant a couple years ago because of cystic fibrosis, and has been in chronic rejection for some time. A few months ago, Eva posted a vlog saying goodbye to her readers and friends because she was told that she'd be passing very soon. She's lived for a while since then.

Sadly for her family, she passed away this morning. I know they had time to prepare, but it can't be easy to let her go. But she can breathe now, and is at peace. Please keep her family and friends in your prayers. Eva made a huge difference to a lot of people, raised tons of money for Canada's cystic fibrosis charities, and educated so many people about her disease and organ donation. Thank God for her life, her honesty, and her spirit.

Thank God...It's Friday!

2010-03-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

This has been such a long week!! It's absolutely dragging by! Probably because I know that Brian has the weekend off and we have very, very little planned. Palm Sunday in "our new church" is the only given on the agenda. Oh, yeah, and some wrestling thing Brian will be parked in front of on Sunday...seriously, though, he's excited and that's cool. Anyone who is also planning on watching that and wants to do it in the comfort of our living room in front of the big screen instead of at BW3, call me! I'll try to arrange for some food if we get company. Incentive... I'm also going to try to convince him to see Alice in Wonderland this weekend. I need more of that 3D experience!!

You guys crack me up! Apparently there are doubts about my ability to keep my mouth shut for 12 weeks..... Of course, I'm the one having the doubts, but I digress. Seriously, though, you guys will know after our parents and siblings. Heck, some of our family reads this, and what a un-fun way to find out you're going to be an aunt or uncle? So after they know, you will. Not immediately, because I'm just way too....anxiety-ridden? I'm so afraid that when it does happen, it won't last. Irrational, but true. I won't make you wait 12 weeks. Though I'm sure I could keep that a secret if I wanted ~~an aneurysm~~ a challenge! That said, some of you know that I planned 80% of our wedding in the car on the way back from West Virginia the day after we got engaged... Can you imagine how fast I'm going to put that nursery together when the time comes?! Please. You'll be seeing pictures. Of course, I may be geriatric by that time, but whatever.

So, in response to comments from my last post:

Allison, I was reading the same blog you were. You sent me the link a few years ago, and I read through her entire archive. Then her little girl was born and I was so excited to "meet" her. And then, poof!, nothing. I can't imagine losing this outlet that way!

Samantha, your happy ending will definitely come! Maybe before ours! Have faith, girl! I know what you mean about Facebook pee stick photos. So...hard to see. My high school friends who are on Facebook and reading here have probably seen the newest announcement from one of our classmates. I am so happy for her. But also really jealous. I hate that feeling in myself, but there it is. Doesn't help that she literally just had a baby and then had her tubes tied. Obviously God wasn't through with her yet, but ouch for quite a few of us. Infertility seems to be rampant in our high school class, and I just wish more people knew to be gentle.

Anonymous, you need a log-in name. Or else I'll give you a bloggy name, and they are usually hokey. So getcha one. Rest assured, I'll totally be posting pee stick photos, ultrasounds, obsessive pregnancy posts on here. Are you kidding?! Otherwise I'll drive everyone I see every day completely insane. But not on Facebook. I really respected that you guys were discreet and thoughtful. Not secretive, just considerate. This blog is my own private forum, and if I wanna post "Hey, I'm Preggo!" posts every day, I'm probably going to! But on Facebook it just seems so....braggy? But no, there will be no belly photos anywhere. *shudder* I am way too modest for that, and seriously don't want to be responsible for blinding 10 or 15 people. Maybe I'll find some stock photos online and Photoshop my head on.....

So, nothing is positive and I'm not getting my hopes too up for this cycle. But there's always next month, and the month after that. And, if my Mama is any example the next five years after that. But I'm hopeful. And always prayerful. Speaking of which.....

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

Big P had his surgery yesterday and it went off without a hitch. He should be headed home any time now, and then his mama gets to try to keep an active three-and-a-half year old "calm". Pray for them both!

Brian has the weekend off! Yay!

The Bum had a scary call at work this week. Seems Cuz and The Godson attempted to burn the house down making French fries. Only the kitchen was affected, and it probably looks much worse than it is, but I'm sure it was scary nonetheless. Thank God, no one was hurt, the landlord wasn't angry, and the insurance should cover it.

Anonymous up there is going to be a mommy very, very soon. Please keep Mommies and Baby in your prayers! Yay!

Requests

Teachers all over the state of Virginia are facing the cold reality that they could lose their jobs because there is no longer any room in the budget for public schools. In some towns, entire schools are closing. In my mother's side of our immediate family alone, we have four teachers. Only two have tenure. Many of my friends face unemployment as well, and I cannot imagine how they are feeling over this. Losing your job for no fault of your own is just plain Not Fair. Please pray that they will receive good news, that money will be reallocated, and that children in the public school system will not suffer because of the ignorance of our government. Please pray that anyone who does lose their job will go on to bigger and better (and better paying, for that matter!) endeavors.

An acquaintance is facing some seriously hard times. Naturally, this affects their spouse and many friends as well. Please pray as led.

Anything going on in your life that you want to give praise over or need lifted up?

Two Week Wait via Facebook?!

2010-03-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

I’ve been pondering this post for a couple of days. I’m in the middle of the dreaded “two week wait” (TWW), that time after ovulation before you can trust a pregnancy test. The two weeks when your body throws every weird symptom at you it can so as to mess with your brain. For two long weeks you feel as pregnant as you can imagine, and then a test crushes you fourteen days later. Good times, as you can imagine. So I’m ignoring this as best I can. Sure, I am. Just ask YaYa Princess how many texts she’s gotten in the past ten days. Obsessive texts. I’m so very good at ignoring it, I promise. Not.

So, anyway, an acquaintance knows roughly what our TTC schedule looks like. She’s privy to when my doctor’s appointments are, and can count. So she knows this is a pivotal time. She makes it a point to ask me routinely if I’m pregnant and what we’re doing now, like Clomid or TWW, or a period. She knows way too much about my body. But she’s positive and supportive, so it’s all good. But she asked me this week when I was going to tell people if/when I’m pregnant. Specifically, will I post it to Facebook Um… So it made me think. Granted, Brian and I have discussed it, and talked through our thoughts on “when and how to tell people” when it happens. Heck, we’ve been doing this since early 2008, so we’ve had time to discuss everything. Our kids are named already, for crying out loud. Just tell us what it is, and we can tell you who it is. Anyway, our parents will know pretty much instantly. My parents probably the day we find out, and Brian’s parents as soon as we could get there to tell them in person. Our siblings will get phone calls sometime in the first trimester. I have four friends who will know very soon, too, because I can’t keep a single thing from them successfully. Everyone else, my bloggy friends, the Internet, Facebook at large, anyone not in the above list? Pretty much after the first trimester.

What really made me think was the whole question of posting to Facebook. When a good friend’s wife got pregnant, I asked if they were going to post pictures of ultrasounds and such. She replied that they would not be doing that, out of respect for their infertile friends. How nice is that?! I think that’s just such a respectful thing to do for others and so empathetic of them. I am not bothered by other people’s ultrasounds, belly pictures, pregnancy talk, or baby photos. I’m not even really envious, just wistful for when it’s me. So I wouldn’t have minded seeing their bean in all his gray, fuzzy, ultrasound glory. But I know that many, many people would have been crushed. So we’ll be adopting the same mentality when I do get pregnant. No ultrasounds on Facebook, no constant “I’m so sick, whine whine whine” on Twitter. I will not be that stumbling block to someone else, causing them pain or envy.

However, while this has been a little bit of an “infertility blog” up till this point, it’s only been that because infertility has been such a big part of our lives. It’s something that I’ve dealt with in my head since I was 16. We discussed it long before we discussed marriage. We ran through 80 million scenarios when I was still on the pill. Since 2008, it’s been a constant focus for us at least monthly, if not daily. Who am I kidding?! Daily. But in reality, this is our family blog. It’s where we post pictures of the things we do when we finally get time off, where you see what’s important to us. With three siblings in three different states, it’s how we keep in touch and keep them up to date (hi, guys!). This blog will not end when I get pregnant. And, honestly, there will be ultrasound pictures and obsessing over the state of the pregnancy. No belly shots, as no one in their right mind wants to have that seared on their retinas. But there will be discussions of pregnancy. And probably baby pictures. Because it’s our family blog, and hopefully one day our family will be bigger than just two people and three cats.

Why do I mention this now, without actually being preggo? Because I know a lot of my readers are dealing with infertility, and I want them to know how it stands. I never, ever want to alienate you guys. I never want to offend or crush you. I thank you for all you’ve taught me, and for letting me tell you things that are way too personal to tell everyone else in my life. I want to be respectful of your feelings, but I guess I hope you’ll understand and stick around, even after the rabbit dies.

Now, I’m off to obsess about completely meaningless “symptoms” that I probably feel every month and just don’t notice until I’m focusing on them. Anybody got a stick to pee on?!!

Duh, Bloodwork

2010-03-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

I totally forgot to tell you guys that my progesterone test came back just fine. It was a 15, whatever that means. It was 16 last month, so I figure it must be good. The nurse said "I guess you're just going to ovulate late in your cycle"..... Um, nope. I have a 32-35 day cycle so I ovulated right on time, thanks. Which is what I already knew from my 9 previous Clomid cycles. And which I've told them at every doctor's appointment since time immemorial. I've been late all my life. I will be late to my own funeral. If I hadn't been at the church by 7 AM the morning of my (3 PM) wedding, I would have been late to that, too. I was late being born, a little late walking, late starting this whole period thing, and late to get married. I'm late. It only makes sense to me that my ovulation (when it chooses to happen) should be late, too. *sigh*

Anyhoo, that's the deal with the bloodwork. Have a great Thursday!

Infertility Is...

2010-03-23T13:00:00.001-04:00

As we have traveled (and travailed) through our journey (ha!) with infertility, I’ve learned a lot from the infertility blogs that I’ve read, and from our family and friends. While I do have to put myself on hiatus from infertility blogs on a regular basis, I am so thankful that we have not been alone through this continuing nightmare. I had a conversation recently with my mother about my blog, and why I choose to make such a private issue so public by putting it all online. Well, if one person finds the Lord, learns anything about their own infertility and what to expect, or is helped in any way whatsoever, then this has not been in vain. That may mean just helping someone who is not infertile to understand what the people around them are going through. Or letting someone several years into this rollercoaster know that they are not alone, either. As others have done for me, I will do for them. This post is in that vein….

Infertility Is...

…Depressing. There is no end to the feelings of failure, shame, and envy. Every Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or any other important holiday that passes without a baby in our lives is a kick in the teeth. Some days simply getting out of bed is too much effort. But we do it, so as to appear normal.

…Frustrating. To not be able to do something so simple is incredibly frustrating. We cannot do what our bodies were designed to do, and everyone around us can.

…Humiliating. Everyone has seen parts of me that should be private. Everyone knows intimate details of our sex life and feels that discussing them is totally acceptable. Our pharmacist is nosy. Our doctor asks questions that make me blush, and I am not easily embarrassed. There is no modesty in infertility. Even at our very thoughtful clinic, I am stripped from the waist down and given a sheet roughly a half yard wide to “cover” up with. My bare butt faces the door.

…Learning to laugh. A man who loves you when Clomid makes you grouchy and when you have to prop your hips up afterward will love you through anything. If you can discuss cervical fluid and peeing on a stick, he’s a keeper. If we don’t laugh at the absurd, we will cry over everything.

…Isolating. Even though over 10% of all couples in the US experience infertility, you may never meet or talk to another. None of your friends can fully understand, and your family my not try. When your infertility is all you can think about, they may not feel comfortable talking about it at all. Our infertility is never mentioned for the prayer requests at church. It is the elephant in the corner at every baby shower. In the waiting room of our fertility clinic, no patients make eye contact, ever. Infertility is not something you tell folks about unless you know you can trust them with your heart.

…A learning experience. Not many things give you the chance to learn to self-inject medications and learn words like hysterosalpingogram or ovarian drilling.

…Painful. Physical changes make my body hurt. Side effects cause aches, pains, and headaches. Injections and blood draws hurt, internal ultrasounds and hysterosalpingograms are very painful. Childbirth actually sounds like a cakewalk after some of this.

…Strengthening. If I can handle this, I can handle anything. So can my marriage, and my faith. Infertility is not for wussies.

…Taxing. “Trying” or “practicing” sounds fun, right? Try it for about two weeks and see how romantic you feel. Don’t forget to time it just right and to prop your hips up afterward.

…Disappointing. Every holiday without a baby, every month with a period, every new check up at the clinic because last month was a bust is a huge disappointment. Telling my husband we’ve failed again is miserable.

…Scary. Words like premature ovarian failure, premature rupture of membranes, incompetent cervix, and intrauterine fetal demise are terrifying for anyone to hear, especially when it’s your ovaries, cervix, or baby.

…Hope. Hope is new again each month, thank God.

…Expensive. Having to give up on your dream to have a baby or having to plan your baby around your credit line is just sad. Especially when you’re paying good money for useless insurance.

…All-consuming. If you don’t learn to stop and find other outlets, infertility will eat you alive.

…Unfair. 14 year old junkies have babies they don’t want. People who lock their kids in closets get pregnant all the time. Why can’t I?

…Eye opening. Many men will leave you when they find out you can’t have babies. The extra-awesome one will stay, look you in the eye and say “That’s okay.”

…Finding a way to trust God and His timing even when I am on the floor, crying and broken.

Still Kickin'

2010-03-22T13:00:00.000-04:00

Hey, ya'll. We are still alive, I promise. I'm just currently suffering from a bad case of the Too-Much-To-Do-And-Not-Enough-Energys. My appointment with the guru last week went well, but I needed to do a repeat progesterone test today just to be sure that my ovulation was...wait for it...robust! Bear in mind that any doctor's appointment around here involves orchestrating Brian's schedule and the feeding and nap schedules of 5-6 kiddos. Yeah, I love to do that once a month, much less twice in a week. But it's worth it, right? Can I have a nap now?

I missed Thank God...It's Friday last week, I know. I'm occasionally a slacker like that, you may have noticed. Sometimes we don't have anything huge going on, and sometimes life is so crazy that it's Saturday morning before I realize that Friday is gone. Anyway, do me a favor and pray for Big P on Thursday. He's supposed to have his tonsils and adenoids out. Hopefully he'll feel better, speak more clearly, and snore a lot less once it's all done.

I hope to not be such a slacker this week. For some reason I can't just can't seem to drag it off the couch these days. Yesterday getting up and getting ready, going to church, having lunch with Brian, and grocery shopping (by 2 PM!) wore me out and necessitated an hour nap...and two hours of sitting around time.... If anyone sees my Get Up and Go, please send it home!

Baileys Basics News

2010-03-13T23:38:00.003-05:00

There is new information on my business blog. Please pop over and check it out. It's what I've been working on that's kept me from here lately. I'm a bit sad. I will, however, be saving the vitriol that I have been spewing aloud for a few days and not post it all over the internet. As things change for my business, I'll probably be posting updates like this that ask you to head over there more often. If you subscribe to both blogs, you may be confused, but I hope not. I just like to keep my "business self" separate from our family blog. And, you know, the infertility stuff off my business blog. So when you see that ultra-cool logo up there, you know there's a post or something cool to check out over on my other site. Thanks!

Oh, and I'm working on a big, important-to-me post that has been rattling around in my head for a few weeks. I want to do it justice, so I've been a bit absent. Maybe this week, we'll see. Nothing life-changing, just close to my heart. Happy Sunday to you all!

Tuesday, Tuesday

2010-03-02T13:00:00.000-05:00

Today, please take some time to pray for MadHat76's grandfather. He will be facing surgery to place a stent in his kidney today, and is scheduled to begin chemotherapy and radiation later this week. Please remember to pray for their whole family, actually, and not just today.

Many apologies to the folks who read my last post with baited breath or tears. I didn't mean to string you along or keep you in suspense. But look at it this way: that's exactly what I had to deal with in "real time". Imagine if my appointment had been on a Friday, like it usually was during our last round of clinic visits. I never got blood work results until the following Monday (or Tuesday!) afternoons. Kind of sucks, doesn't it?

Sorry so short today. I'm hoping to spend nap time working on new slings for On The Turtle's Back (go! shop!), and am working on a few posts in my head.... We'll see when they shake themselves out. Have a good Tuesday!

Friday Already?

2010-02-26T13:00:00.000-05:00

Wow! It's been a week since I posted! Or rather, a week and a day. I had no free time to even think about posting this week, so be impressed that this is up today!

My doctor's appointment last Thursday was....interesting. I was pleasantly surprised by the change in my doctor's bedside manner; he was friendly and helpful, and didn't make me feel like a failure at all. However, my ultrasound showed no sign of ovulation. Dr. B and I discussed raising the dosage of Clomid that I've been on to the highest dosage they can provide. I asked about blood work, but he said it wouldn't make any difference. But I knew something was just not right. My body gives clear signs when it's ovulating, and they were all there this month. How could I be so wrong about my own body?! I asked Dr. B if the fact that I have a 35 day cycle and usually ovulate "late" around CD 20 would make any difference. He said absolutely, and I gave up some blood. But it was pretty clear that I had not ovualted, and that my body was no longer responding to Clomid as expected, no matter what I thought. I left the office and made it to the car before I burst into tears. I cried most of the way home, asking God why on earth this has to be so hard. I trust Him, but it hurts to get knocked down every month. And you'd think a nine month break would help, right? Nope. Not in terms of pain. Heading home last week it was as if my last appointment had been January, not May 2009. Hurts just the same as always. I spent the rest of the night incredibly depressed, feeling like a complete failure and feeling pretty much hopeless. I hate that feeling. How could I have been so wrong?

Friday I called the patient messaging service about a million times for the results of my blood work. It was testing for progesterone, which would be present if I had ovulated. The results were finally in around 3 PM. And I ovulated!! I was right! I did know my body, and it was working like I expected! If I hadn't been determined that I knew what I was talking about I would have gone home and been depressed and sad, ready to give up. I would have raised my Clomid dosage to an insane level unneccesarily. Thank God I stood up for what I knew to be right. I've been so glad to see comments from other women dealing with infertility, women with PCOS ("cysters") and other people looking for answers. I'm so glad we can come together like this in such an unprecedented way. Today I would say to you: know your body. Be confident that you know it best. Doctors are great, and well-trained doctors are a Godsend. But stand up for your body and for what you know to be right. Demand blood work and the respect that you deserve. Thank God Dr. B trusted my self-knowledge enough to order a simple blood test.

So now it's CD 2 and we're gearing up for another month of this craziness. I have learned so much from infertility. I'll post about it soon, I promise, but just know that it's a learning experience for sure.

For now, let's

Thank God....It's Friday!

Praises

Brian's bonus check came. Let's just say that God hears prayers, and He is soooo good. We needed help and all we could do was trust. Turned out pretty good!

Both of our spare rooms are cleaned out and look lovely. That makes me such a happier person, and it feels like our house went on a diet. Ahhhhhh.....

I am thankful for YaYa Princess, who is willing to answer my most disturbing questions and discuss the most bizarre personal aspects of our lives. Usually while at work. I love her and cannot image not having her to share a brain with! Rumor has it she's pretty darn good at her job, too. Top 5 or something like that.

Requests

On Monday, my Aunt Frances passed away. She was married to my dad's oldest brother, and she had been ill for a very, very long time. Please be in prayer for her family.

Aunt Margie, Daddy's third sister, was diagnosed with cancer Monday. I have no details on her prognosis or treatment, but I know it's not good.

Uncle Roy is Aunt Margie's husband. He was also Aunt Frances' brother (a brother and sister from one family married a brother and sister from another family). He's had a pretty sucky week. He could probably use some focused prayer in his time of grief.

Brian's family (mom, dad, and Nurse Baileys) are supposed to come down this weekend. However, they are also in the middle of a blizzard, apparently. So please pray that they can actually come to Virginia, and that their travels are safe.

Brian's life at work is going to get nuts for a while. Please pray for him and for everyone else there.

Heading Across The Mountain

2010-02-18T13:00:00.001-05:00

I can tell that in the past nine months or so you've all just dearly missed hearing about all our reproductive nightmares. I know, I know. You just need to hear about periods, ovulation, cramps, and side effects. And whoa! The internal ultrasound details. I hear you, I feel your pain and longing. So, just for you, we're going back to the clinic in search of a baby. You know, so you can hear about vomiting, nausea, cramps, and birth plans. Sounds like a win-win, no?

Seriously, though, this is my first month back on Clomid. Or The Clomid, as I like to call it. Like The Heroin. It's currently day 26 of this cycle, and it's a bust. But we're cool with that, because it was through no fault of our own. I'll explain in a bit.

In case you are not completely versed in the ways of infertility and how one gets All Knocked Up Using Medical Science, lemme give you the run down. I'll educate folks, because I happen to know that my readership has doubled since the last time we were trying to get pregnant. You know, from two to four people now tortured by my drivel! It all starts (for me, at least) with 10 days of progesterone to start a period. Which worked for me this month for the first time since I was 17. Yay for small victories!! On the fifth cycle day, I started with 200 milligrams of Clomid. I take this nightly for 5 days (cycle day, or CD, 5-9). My fertility monitor starts asking for test sticks around CD 8 or 9, and this month went to "Medium Fertility" on CD 10. Usually that's closer to CD 16 for me, so this was unusual. My monitor usually goes to "Peak Fertility" and I typically ovulate on CD 20, and then go to the clinic for an ovary check via internal ultrasound and blood work around CD 22 or 23. Except for this month....when my monitor failed to move past "Medium". It's CD 26 and according to the monitor I haven't ovulated and am not close. Which I am pretty sure is wrong, based on what my body is telling me. So, I'm off to the doctor to be poked and prodded, donate some blood for a progesterone test, and see what's up. Unfortunately, I don't get to see our regular guru this month, but instead will see his partner. Who is a lovely doctor and very knowledgeable. With no bedside manner. I always come back from visits with Dr. Williams happy and positive, holding out hope that maybe I'm pregnant. From Dr. Bateman, I come back home and wait for my period since he's sure I'm not pregnant and a complete failure. You get the idea.

So that's the process. Now, why is it not our fault this month is a bust? Because our involvement in this process is limited: Take medications. Pee on sticks. Do the necessary actions on Peak Day and the day after. Show up for ovary check a week later. Lather, rinse, repeat. We were ready, willing, and able to do all of that....except the Peak Day part. Because the monitor didn't give us any heads up, and your chances of becoming pregnant by happy coincidence is somewhere around 30%, if I'm not mistaken. I think the problem is that our box of test sticks is set to expire in March. So maybe they're too old to do the trick. We'll try again next month with freshly-minted ~~technology~~ pee sticks and see what happens. We're not too upset, and we're not really disappointed, because if I ovulated then we're on the right track. Besides -- we'll get pregnant when God wants us to, and not a moment before.

This afternoon I'll be off to the doctor, across the mountain. It'll be a short, quick trip so I won't get to see Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy (hi, guys!). Hopefully I'll be coming home to put up curtains in our bedroom. Yay for making a house look like you live there....after two and a half years..... Anyway, by the time you read this, I should be in the car and striking out for Charlottesville. Brian will be staying with the kids - pray for him.

A Day In The Life

2010-02-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

As Brian and I were talking the other night, we realized that most of our friends and family don't have a clue how our days are organized. As people with non-typical jobs and non-typical hours, we sort of operate a bit differently than most folks we know. For me, this seems totally normal; my mother has had a daycare in her home for 31 years (apparently she started when she was 8 years old...), so my daily schedule is the same one I grew up with.

So, because I thought it might be entertaining, and because Snowpocalypse has kept me from doing anything any more entertaining, it's a Day In The Life. I'm using Tuesday as an example, with bits of Wednesday and Everyday.... This is in no way to say "look how much I do all day. You're a slacker". Rather, I find other peoples' daily routines interesting and thought you might, too.

6:55 smack cell phone snooze button until 7:15

7:15 drag my carcass out of bed, check fertility monitor and perform required actions (pee on a stick! Yay!), get in the shower. Lately, I field calls and texts about who's coming or not, depending on the weather.

7:30 dress, check fertility monitor results, and ask Brian to turn off his alarm clock that has been beeping since 7:25.

7:35 grab a bowl for the baby's cereal and head downstairs to open up the house for daycare.

7:40 straighten up downstairs and shovel any snow that has gotten dumped on the walk. Salt the sidewalk to avoid lawsuits when someone falls.

7:45-8 Baby E arrives. We play for a while.

8-8:30 Big P, Miss A, and Mr. A arrive and begin playing. I organize bags and lunches, put away shoes and coats and anything else lying around.

8:30 feed the baby, and change her diaper.

9 Baby E goes to bed upstairs. I start a load of laundry, depending on which basket is full,and make our bed. I get milk cups for the kids on my way back down.

9:15 change two more diapers and send Miss A to the potty. Fix my breakfast while the kids play (I found organic Pop Tarts! Yay!).

9:45-10:30 Miss M arrives. Chances are Mr. A needs another diaper change. Tuesday we made bags for Valentine's Day. This involved supervising each child, one at a time, as they go nuts with glue, paper hearts, and stickers. While I discussed a cell phone and internet outage with Brian. Most days we also read books, practice counting/ABCs/colors/etc and I make mental note of any developmental stuff we need to work on. I also break up a lot of fights over toys and snarky three year old stuff.

10:45 Baby E is awake. Change her diaper and warm water to heat her bottle. When I go up to get her, I also put the clothes into the dryer.

11:20 big kids clean up, and the baby takes her bottle under much duress and threatening. I micromanage clean up and answer 428,340 questions about what to pick up next.

11:30 kids settle down to watch a little PBS while I pack up lunches to go upstairs and change 3 diapers. Take Miss A to potty and send both big kids (M and P) to potty on their own. Brian leaves for work if he works 12-10:30. I remind him to take lunch, cell phone, and keys. 258 times.

12:00 I pop the baby in the highchair and settle the other kids with blocks in the dining room while I heat up their lunches, get nap spots set up, and start unloading the dishwasher.

12:15 call kids to the table for lunch. I micromanage lunch-eating, fielding a billion comments about who's done with what and who thinks they're full and assuring three year olds that they can't possibly be full after 1/8 cup of corn and yogurt. Eat your chicken. Spoon any food into Mr. A that he can't finger-feed himself. Feed Baby E, moving her fingers out of the bowl every .056 seconds. Unload the dishwasher and begin any dinner prep that can be done ahead of time.

12:45 clean hands and faces, wipe the table, distribute milk cups to kids. Clean off plates and load the dishwasher. Prepare snacks to save time later. Send Mr. P and Miss M to the potty. Change Mr. A and Baby E's diapers. Settle big kids for nap in the living room, Mr. A and Baby E in upstairs bedrooms. Start folding laundry after checking email, Twitter, and facebook via cell phone. Go back into the other room 234 times to flip Baby E over and tell her to go to sleep, and tell Mr. A to be quiet 182 times.

1-3 Finish folding laundry and do any chores that need to be done to keep us on schedule. This is things like cleaning bathrooms (4), dusting, cleaning the kitchen, sweeping, or whatever. On Wednesday it involved making cookie dough to chill and sweeping the snow off the front porch. By 2 or 2:30 I'm usually eating lunch. Some days I sew.

3:00 Send P and M to the potty, wake up the babies. Mr. A walks down the steps himself while I carry Baby M. If need be, I also start a new load of laundry that will get dried overnight. Change three diapers and send Miss A to potty (we're working on it!). Brush everyone's hair so they don't look like ragamuffins.Set everyone to their snacks, and finish dinner prep. Tuesday we had tortellini, so there was no prep. Wednesday was roast beef, green beans, and potatoes. I get it all in the oven and set the automatic oven controls to turn on while I'm teaching. I clean hands and faces, clean off plates, serve milk cups, sweep the floor, and pack up to go downstairs.

3:45 The hoard goes back downstairs to put on shoes and put away their bags before their parents come. When everyone is ready, we play. During this time, I usually field a million calls or texts about lessons if it's Monday through Wednesday, and parents start coming to pick up kids. Baby E takes a bottle around 4, and she fights me. At least one child always melts down when their parents come. Ideally, toys get cleaned up.

5:25 I send the last kiddo out the door. I clean up milk cups and head upstairs to change gears. I usually have enough time to go to the bathroom and get my chair set up and drink refilled before my 5:30 lesson comes.

5:30-8:00 Piano lessons on Monday-Wednesday. On Thursday, I usually clean or do some sewing during this time, unless I have make-up lessons scheduled.

8:00 finish dinner preparations, change into pajamas, remove contacts, manage any laundry that is left in the system. If need be, I sometimes do some cleaning at this point. I eat dinner around 8:30 or 9 most nights.

9 - 10:30 or 11, or 11:30 or whatever: I read or surf the web, or do something crafty like sew, crochet, or embroider. Whatever project I'm working on right now. I watch a little TV or whatever until Brian gets home, if he worked the late shift. We usually head upstairs between 11:30-midnight and go to bed between midnight and 12:30.

Broken down, it looks like this:

cups of milk poured: 11

bowls of baby food shoveled: 3

diapers changed: minimum of 12, more like 20

lessons taught: 5

questions answered, fights settled, judgments doled out: 9,428,750,245

How does a Day In Your Life look?

Thank God...It's Friday!

2010-02-05T20:00:00.000-05:00

Thank God....It's Friday!

Praises

I had a day off thanks to snow, and it happened to coincide with Brian's schedule day off. Yay!

So far, this cycle of Clomid is right on track.

We have a houseful of groceries, good heat, comfy blankets, and no real snow worries. Many are not as blessed.

Requests

MadHat76's grandfather was diagnosed with a rare type of bladder cancer this week. He is currently discussing treatment options with his oncologist. Please keep him and their entire family in your prayers.

It's pretty definite that Brian will have to try to get to work tomorrow afternoon in more than two feet of snow. He will probably have to stay overnight at the store. Please keep in him your prayers.

One of my friends needs the kind of strength, understanding, and patience that only God can give. Please pray as led.

The east coast is being pummeled by a huge storm and we're expected to receive 20-30 inches of snow. There are many people who are homeless or live in a less than cozy home. Many will lose power and have no heat, or can't afford the food that they would need to have stocked up. Please pray for them, and get out and help in any way you can.

I'm a Broody Hen

2010-02-04T10:19:00.003-05:00

This past week, I started a new round of Clomid. It's the first time in nine months, and I had forgotten a few things. Or rather, was choosing not to focus on them. You know, things like the horrid headache that I get after a few days of Clomid. Or the cramps. Or the evil, snarky woman who speaks through my mouth for about two weeks. So far this cycle it's not too bad. I had one day of a headache, the cramps haven't killed me yet, and I'm remembering to watch my tongue most of the time.

But one thing I had forgotten about has slammed into me full-force. For some reason, I get really lethargic during my Clomid weeks. I mean seriously! Most days it feels like getting up, showering, and watching kids is all the work I can possibly deal with. Nothing is getting cleaned or organized, and dinner may or may not get cooked.

I am officially acting like a big ole broody hen. I'm just hanging out on my ~~nest box~~ couch, incubating my eggs. Good luck getting me to move my butt except to go to the bathroom and get food. The good new is, this complete and total mind-numbing lethargy usually goes away the day after I ovulate. Thank goodness, because otherwise our house won't even be suitable for this kid I'm trying to conceive!

So if you need a bathroom cleaned, a floor vacuumed, or any real work done, please find yourself another chicken. This one needs a nap.

Thank God...It's Friday!

2010-01-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

Thank God....It's Friday

The Travel Edition

Praises

MadHat76's grandfather is home. His Xrays and various scans are all clear. Pray that his lab report declares this "mass" as benign and he can get back to life as usual!

Yesterday was Brian's birthday. Yay!

Aunt Margie is home and apparently doing fine.

Requests

We're headed to Elizabeth and Parkersburg to see Brian's family this weekend. We're praying for travel mercies and good weather!

I started a new round of Clomid last night. Praying it will be the last one I need!

Have a fabulous weekend!

Update from Monday

2010-01-28T13:00:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to write this for about two days. Unfortunately, I'm slow. So, here's the update from Monday's medical prayer requests:

MadHat76's grandfather came through his surgery safely. The doctors removed a mass and are testing it for malignancy. They also took x-rays to see if it had metastasized. Her grandmother's procedure went well. Please keep them all in your prayers.

Aunt Margie stayed overnight at UVA and is back home. No one seem to know what was up, but there's a possibility of a UTI and some further blood sugar issues. Either way, she's doing fantastic and is back home. Yay!

Heeding a Warning

2010-01-25T13:00:00.002-05:00

I love it when God nudges me in a direction and then reaffirms His prodding at every turn. Recently I was talking to a friend about natural living and nutrition. Her family's experience helped us to decide to switch to home-milled, whole grains. She hooked us up with both our beef and milk providers. I pray I've passed on even a tenth as much good information to her as she has to me. About a year ago (maybe more? I don't remember) her daughter contracted a nasty chronic disease and they made some huge lifestyle and diet changes to support her body in fighting this illness. I do not fault her for anything she's doing; she is keeping her children and husband healthy and providing for them in a very appropriate way. But when I talked to her last, she reported (as though it were totally normal and even to be praised) that her family can no longer eat out at all, cannot have any white sugar or processed food, and must take their own food to any carry-in or when traveling to see family. Otherwise they become very, very ill when eating foods their body can no longer process due to their dietary changes. Basically this extends to anything not completely natural, whole grain-based, and completely free of any preservatives, and about a million other things. While I would love to be as healthy as her family, I cannot imagine not being able to enjoy myself when I wish to visit family or go to a restaurant as a treat occasionally. That may make me weak, I'll give you that. But if Brian looks at me and tells me he desperately wants the Cajun chicken pasta at Red Lobster (for which his little heart pines about once every three months or so and makes him soooooo happy), I'm not going to tell him that I can't eat there because they use junk flour and fake cheese in their cheddar biscuits. Heck no, I'm going to be too busy getting in the car to say much of anything. I totally embrace the changes we've made, but moderation in all things, you know?

Along the same vein, when talking with friends or family about our decisions or facts we've gathered in our research, I often feel like they think I'm judging them. That would never, ever be my intent. I never want to say that my choices are better than yours, or that you are somehow a horrible parent if your fully-vaccinated child is munching on Doritos for breakfast with her coffee. Your kid is your kid, your family is your family, and your health is your health. I am responsible for absolutely no actions other than my own. I am far (far far far) from perfect and never want to judge anyone for their own decisions. However.....it is terribly easy for us to cast disparagement on someone else's practices, isn't it? Of course we're the best, smartest, most healthy people ever, right? Certainly we're assured a special seat in Heaven because we've been such awesome stewards of what God gave us, yeah? No. Not one bit. I don't want to even sort of sound like I'm judging someone else for their decisions, so I need to learn to hold my tongue. It is not my job to preach. I need to learn to trust that if someone wants the knowledge I've gained, they'll ask for it.

I was thinking about these things already. And then the other night a Facebook friend posted a link to a very good blog post about natural living becoming an idol. Whoa. I feel that nudge, God. Gotcha. Definitely check out that link and search your own hearts. I know I'll be searching mine. Will I suddenly revert to my old ways of sulfate-laden shampoos, fake body washes full of fragrances and chemicals, harsh cleansers for my house, processed convenience food and flu shots? Not a chance. We've seen too many good results from the changes we've made to ever go back or stop learning for the future. But I will take careful stock of where my heart lies and make sure that I'm only being a good steward of the body God gave me and the health of those he puts in my care, as well as our resources. What a fine line there is between being careful and worshiping one's own green-ness.

Please Pray

2010-01-25T08:09:00.002-05:00

I received a text last night from MadHat76 requesting prayers. Her grandfather will be having a sonogram today and then exploratory surgery on his bladder. The doctors want to make sure he doesn't have cancer, so this is an urgent need. Please keep Shell and her family in your prayers, and check back either here or her blog (or both!) for updates.

UPDATED

Please also pray for my Aunt Margie. She was taken back to UVA this morning. We have no details so far.

Thank God...It's Friday!

2010-01-22T10:00:00.001-05:00

This has been the strangest week! I used to get sick quite often. Once we moved out of our old mold-bomb of a house and into a nice, new, mold-free house I was able to start working on my immune system. Most of our lifestyle changes have been focused on improving our health in specific areas, and one of those is our immune systems. I don't want to have to depend on vaccinations, antibiotics, and modern medicine to prevent or heal illness. Instead our focus has been on strengthening and support our immune systems to do their God-given job. As we've switched to whole grains, grass-fed beef, raw milk, and local honey we've seen a great increase in our abilities to avoid illness and recover more quickly from whatever we do manage to catch. I'm not saying we don't get sick. Heaven knows we can both get a pretty good cold if it's going around! But it doesn't seem to linger, and I don't remember the last time I missed a day of work due to illness (piano lessons, yes. I don't choose to share germs with those families that don't have to come to our house). Last week, however, a tiny Typhoid Mary brought an evil germ into my house. Apparently my body immediately latched onto it and took it deeply to heart. I know because I can feel it burning in my chest!! I have been coughing since Saturday. A lot. I'm pretty sure it's not bronchitis, but it hurts nonetheless. So I've been lying low all week. Nothing much has gotten done except for daycare. I cancelled lessons, shifted any housework into "Merely Survive" mode, and temporarily forgot how to cook. Hack, hack, cough, cough, sniff. That's been my refrain for a week now. YaYa Princess said she was compulsively checking my blog yesterday in an effort to dodge work. Sorry, kiddo, I was too busy coughing up a lung to help you out on that! So, on the top of my prayer list this week is: may I please feel better soon!! (click that Typhoid Mary link -- interesting stuff!)

Thank God....It's Friday

Praises

Brian is off work for 10 days! He needs a vacation, and plans on using it to accomplish some things around the house that have been needing attention for a while. I hope he has time to rest and relax, as well. In the middle of that vacation, he has a birthday, too!
Aunt Margie is home! She's pretty much homebound now, so if you know her please stop by and visit. She'll certainly talk your ear off in the living room, but you're not liable to see her out and about any time soon.
Mama's knees are officially released! Not from one another, not from her legs, but from the doctor. Yay for her!
I don't want to jinx it, but it seems like the Provera might just work.....

Requests

We're planning on going to visit Brian's family next weekend. We need good weather for that, since it's so far away and over several mountains.
We're also planning on seeing Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy (hi!) this weekend to celebrate Brian's birthday and Lizzy's belated birthday. This wintery mix outside my window needs to clear up, post haste.

Have a great weekend!

Note to MadHat76: you crazy woman! Those are burp cloths for babies, not placemats! But now you've got me thinking.....

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2010-01-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

Thank God....It's Friday

Here's what we're praying for around BaileysLand this week. Join in, or leave your prayer request in the comments. Be sure to pray for anyone who comments, too, please!

Praises

Getting started back with our fertility clinic was way easier than I feared it would be.

One of Brian's coworkers' son was kidnapped by his father this week. He was quickly recovered and is fine.

Requests

Pray hard, diligently and with all your being for the people of Haiti. Please pray for the citizens, missionaries and tourists, rescue workers, and anyone else on the island, as well as anyone living elsewhere with family that they haven't heard from. Some friends of ours did some mission work in Haiti when they were first married, and still have friends there. I know they are worried as well. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to be in Haiti right now not knowing if you were going to be safe, or if an aftershock will knock your house down. Also, some really horribly comments were made this week by someone purporting to speak for the Christian faith in regards to Haiti. Please disregard them, and know that no true Christian would blame the people of Haiti for this tragedy. He does not speak for me, or for my faith. I don't know about anyone else, but my God doesn't punish people with earthquakes but instead brings them through every little aftershock in the palm of his hand. I pray that you will be led to pray, and maybe to donate money, items, or time to help those children of God less fortunate and struck by this horrific earthquake.

Please pray as led for a close friend of mine. I will not air it on my blog, but I know that God knows what she needs.

Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy have had a horrible week at work. There is no heat in their school, and a water main broke in Bro's classroom. Everything in there was ruined. He has been shuffled from hallway to cafeteria to extra room to teach his class of kids with learning disabilities, special needs, and at-risk behaviors. Sweet Lizzy has taught in a room that was 40 degrees at its warmest point. Their job is hard enough at a difficult school with difficult kids without having to deal with this.

Mama's Aunt Leona fell last weekend while celebrating Christmas with her family. She may have a torn rotator cuff, but is back at her retirement home and doing well. Please keep her stubborn tail in your prayers. (Hey, Mama, by the way -- Aunt Pony fell. I found out Tuesday and forgot to tell you. Sorry to tell you this way, but we both know I'll forget to tell you tomorrow, too.)

As always, we'd like a baby and a new job for Brian.

Have a great weekend!

Has Anyone Seen My Patience?

2010-01-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

I am usually a very patient person. I work with children, for crying out loud! And I used to work with children with disabilities - you don't do that without patience. I can usually sit quietly in traffic for as long as I need to before it's my turn to go. If I make a phone call and leave a message, I'm usually patient enough to wait for you to call me back. Granted, I lose my patience with Brian far too often for no reason and let him know about it. That's probably because I know it's safe and he won't get too mad. Not good, but that's why. By and large, patience is my middle name.

Lately, however, I seem to be surrounded by slow people. Everyone I've been waited on at stores lately? Turtles. Traffic around town? Slower than cold molasses. The cat laying (lying?) in front of the fridge? Immovable. Why will no one move faster than slow motion?! For crying out loud, people, get the lead out! Get on the good foot! Move it! Ugh!

Remember when you got your first retail job (come on, we've all had them) or your first job waiting tables? And your boss told you how important it was to get customers through the line and on their way in a timely fashion? Yeah, at some point that became secondary to taking your sweet time.

Okay, little tirade over. I feel better. And I'm happy to report that I haven't lost my temper in a line yet, or snapped at some poor, minimum wage employee. But I have come very close. If anyone has seen my patience, please send it back home.

Idle Hands Are What?

2010-01-10T01:46:00.002-05:00

This was originally published to my Baileys Basics blog, which explains the New Year's reference. Mama reminded me that I hadn't posted any pictures of these on here, and should. Enjoy! I'm planning on sending sets of these down to On The Turtle's Back (Go there! Shop!), as well as my online store and will be making them from Eco-Felt. It's made from recycled plastic bottles. I was shooting for 100% wool felt, but it would cheaper for me just to buy sheep. Anyway, here's what I do while the TV's on....

Happy New Year!! Here's a little look at some things that may be coming soon to my shop.

You may know that I have an in-home daycare. In searching for good, quality toys for my little friends to play with, I discovered the absolute fun of making felt play food. I made a set for a little girl my mama knows, and am working on a set for my kiddos here at daycare. Hopefully I'll be adding these sets to my online store and to the brick and mortar shop here in town that sells Baileys Basics items. These pictures are of food made from acrylic and Eco felt. I'm currently looking at sources for 100% wool felt, so there may be some color differences in the food that eventually hits the shop. Meanwhile, here are some of my favorite things these days....

Full breakfast of two pancakes with syrup and butter, 2 rashers of bacon, and two eggs

Cheeseburger on sesame seed bun with lettuce, tomato, and pickle, with ketchup and mustard

2 sugar cookies and 2 fudge cookies, each with icing and sprinkles

2 toaster pastries, strawberry and fudge with icing and sprinkles

Ripe, red strawberries

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2010-01-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

Wow, this week was fast!! That in and of itself is a huge praise in my book. All too often we wish our lives away, hurrying the days along. I need to stop doing that, I know. But working a full week when you've gotten very, very used to three day weeks is hard! So I'm ready for a weekend and about 16 hours of sleep, spread over two days. Hellooooo, Friday!

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

The gossip on Facebook says that Aunt Margie is doing well.
I got to meet Baby P yesterday, and he's just as sweet as you'd imagine a week old bundle to be.
I finally got to talk to a nurse at our fertility clinic, and we don't have to do anything special to start trying to conceive again. Just take the Provera and start on the Clomid, and we're back in the swing of things. Let's hope that's a one-time deal and then we can get on with the actual baby part!
I think we both had mostly good weeks at work. Huge praise there.
I'm doing a decent job at maintaining my...not New Year's resolution per se, but rather my....conviction about how I want things to be? My attitude adjustment has stuck, with a few realignments here and there.

Requests

The good news about starting to try again means lots and lots of drugs. Provera makes me tired and cranky. Clomid makes me just plain evil. I will be trying really extra super hard not to let this happen. I could use some prayers in that department.
Still praying for a new job for Brian.
In case you hadn't noticed, it's seriously cold outside. It's currently 18 degrees here, with a wind chill of 9 degrees. Imagine being homeless in this weather. Pray for the people that are, and do what you can to fix the problem.

Have a great weekend and stay warm!

Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes....

2010-01-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

Who says you can't change your mind? Who says you can't change it 8 million times? We're doing just that. This month we planned to start using IUI to get pregnant. We formulated this plan about seven months ago, in May 2009. Some issues had arisen that just made it the best option for us. We have spent seven months knowing that 2010 would find us arranging our schedule and lives around IUI, not to mention our budget.

Fast-forward seven months, to now. A lot has changed. We've fixed a lot of the issues that were keeping us from conceiving. I haven't blogged about a lot of it because it's quite frankly not public business (big talk for a woman who discusses her ovaries online, no?), but things are way better than they were in May and it looks like we should be able to continue trying to conceive the...um...old fashioned way. Hee hee, I'm a 12 year old..... We're going to give it a few months and see what happens. Heck, our plans don't matter a bit to God anyway, and we're just basically waxing theoretical until we reach His appointed time for us to have kids anyway. Might as well change our minds every 10 minutes and keep it interesting, right? Thanks for hanging out on our roller coaster!!

**Post Script, of sorts: reading back over our Master Plan link, I nearly laughed my big butt off. We had huge plans for that seven months, lemme tell you. Almost none of that happened. So, so, so much more did happen, and thank God we weren't trying to make a baby through all the crap that was 2009. But seriously, God's not the only one laughing at our Master Plan. HA!

Possible New Obsession

2010-01-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

Last night I finished a gift for Little P, the new baby joining the herd around here. He's still getting accustomed to the world and will be here in Spring, but I wanted to send something home via Brother Mail for him. I've been coveting the adorable burp cloths that are all over Etsy and on every crafty-blog I've ever read, but refuse to buy something I can make. So I took all the things I loved about them, adjusted the dimensions that I didn't like, and made my own pattern. Granted, it's pretty much the same as everyone else's, but I'm in love with them. I love flannel and sewing with it. Makes me want to nap. So here's a look at the new burp cloths I made...

They're 100% cotton flannel, print on one side and coordinating solid on the other. They're pre-shrunk and approximately 16x8 and shaped to fit on your shoulder. I won't be adding them to the shop because of complete and total market saturation, but I'd love love love to make a set for you or any new baby you know. Give me an excuse to play with flannel!

Prayers, Please

2010-01-05T17:00:00.000-05:00

Brian's great uncle, Ernie, passed away Monday afternoon. He was 79 years old and never married. He was with his brother, Sydney, when he had a heart attack. Ernie was Brian's Pawpaw Raymond's brother. We're planning on travelling to Charleston this weekend for the funeral if all of our plans go right. Please keep Brian's family and by extension Ernie's family in your prayers. Brian did not seem shocked when his uncle passed away, and I get the feeling he had been ill for a long time based on what Brian told me. As my sister in law, Anchor Girl, pointed out he's having a big old party in heaven now, and we shouldn't be sad. Still, it's one less person to enjoy while he's here. Prayers for comfort and travel mercies are coveted. Thank you.

Trying To Be A Good Blogger

2010-01-05T09:00:00.001-05:00

See how I'm trying to be such a good blogger? I know that I love it when I open up my Google Reader (courtesy of Viigo on my BlackBerry, if you want to get technical) and have at least a snippet from one of the blogs I follow. Whether it's adorable photos from CFHusband or MckMama, things that make me think from CJane, inspired bits of beauty from Nie, family pictures from The Johnson Family, or yummy recipes from Homemaking Homesteader, I love having new things to read as I start my day. When I finally get face time with my computer, I love reading whatever MamaSpohr has written, and to see Holly's Animated Life. When it's a slow blog day, I feel a little less inspired, a little less put-together. When I don't hear something from MadHat76 or YaYaPrincess, or The Gorby Family for a few days, weeks, or months, I worry. What's up in their lives? Are they okay? You may remember a while back (a long, long while) I mentioned a similar issue when one of my favorite bloggers when silent for months. I just found her blog again last night, and have some catching up to do. She's back, and I am out of touch with her life now! So, in interest of not leaving you in such a manner, I'm trying to be a good blogger. I find that I don't necessarily need brilliance from any of the blogs I read. Just a little glimpse into the lives of others. MamaSpohr wrote a post comparing her bloggy/Twittering/facebook friends to the friendships she used to have working outside the home. She mentioned that she felt alone when she first started staying at home, and now she feels connected to her "colleagues" online. I'll try to throw you a bone more often to let you know that we're alive, fine, and trucking along. Even if it's mundane and not at all profound. In fact, I can almost promise you it won't be profound....

Case in point: Monday was an incredibly boring day. And yet, not. I only had two kids in care, Brian was home so we got to hang out, I only had one lesson. It was a slow day, and I accomplished next to nothing. But the Christmas tree is down, thanks to Brian's help. And VA came by to hang out for a bit while Brian fixed her Wii remotes. A sweet friend stopped by to bring me goodies for my Lia Sophia party on January 15th (email me if you want to come! I'm serious! I feel bad inviting people to come spend money at my house, but I love when people come!). By the time everyone left and we settled in, it was too late to start dinner. I know, I should have started dinner prep a lot sooner but a nap seemed more important with my free 45 minutes. So we had the ~~three hour~~ 45 minute "what do you want for dinner, I don't care what do you want, I don't care, should we order in or pick up, I don't care what do you feel like, click click click order online I don't want to call click click, what do you want?" conversation what seems to precede any meal around here not made by me. After many, many possibilities got kicked around, we settled on Papa John's, of all things....for wings. What? Wings from a pizza place? Aren't you the girl who espouses eating naturally and avoiding the Standard American Diet? Yep. And I also highly recommend the wings from Papa John's. Followed by whatever that yummy chocolatey dessert thing is. All I know is it involves phyllo dough and chocolate sauce. YUM. All things in moderation, especially moderation!

So, that's my great profound contribution to your Tuesday reading time. Yippee. If you want better, click one of those links in the first paragraph. I highly recommend them all!

Monday, Take 1

2010-01-04T13:00:00.000-05:00

It's officially the first Monday of the year. According to my mama, it's one of the best days to start a diet. The only thing better is that magical occurrence every seven years: a Monday that is also January 1. As for me, I'll just consider this the day to start having something other than cookies for breakfast.

This was an interesting weekend. Friday was a holiday, of course, so I had no children. I also had no ability to move, as I woke up with a sore back. Apparently I either pulled or strained a muscle....in my sleep. I don't know, don't ask me. All I know is that it hurts to move at all. Getting dressed Friday and Saturday ended in tears, so I just didn't bother yesterday. Today is moderately better, so maybe I'll accomplish something today after all! Saturday was spent hanging out with VA, The Bean, and Mama at what became a three and a half hour lunch. Then off to my cousin's house for Hill Christmas. It had been rescheduled because all the parking was covered in a foot of snow. We had a great time and I discovered that a few strawberry daquaris, while not totally intoxicating me, will dull the pain in a pulled back very nicely. Good to know. There is no photographic evidence of the debauchery. Sunday was spent hanging around the house, watching a lot of TV and sewing. I'll post pictures after I gift the items.

Today it's back to the grindstone, sort of. Only two kiddos in care, and only one lesson tonight. Brian is off and we'll get to spend some time together before he goes back to work tomorrow. Meanwhile, simple things are amusing the heck out of me. Like the fact that Little Miss A's hair is standing completely on end courtesy of all the static in our house. And that Little Mister A has learned how to say "tickletickletickle". Funniest thing ever to come out of a 15 month old's mouth!

Earlier this morning I made a terrifying phone call -- to our reproductive guru. To see what needs to be done to TRY again. Holy cats. This is hopefully going to be our first (hopefully hopefully our only) attempt at IUI. Why on earth was I nervous making that phone call!? I left a message and am waiting for a return call, but it was nerve wracking. I keep expecting them to say "You've been gone eight months! You can't come back here! You're on your own!". I may just die if that's the case! Pray on it, folks.

And now....nap time!! Enjoy your Mondays and stay warm.

Christmas Craftiness

2010-01-02T13:00:00.000-05:00

Here are a few of the things that I made that we gave as gifts for Christmas 2009. I love making a good deal of our gifts. It just makes things more personal and hopefully lets people know how much they mean to us. There are a few more gifts that I haven't finished yet (we have an extended Christmas since we have family and friends spread out over a pretty big distance). I'll hopefully have a chance to post them after I'm done and after we've given gifts. These have all been sent out into the world already, so here you go....

These light bulb Christmas ornaments were for my piano students. I made these and another style that had an angel on them.

These sock animals were for my daycare kiddos. I loved making them, and hope they enjoy playing with them!

These napkins were for Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy. I love making napkins, and really, really love working with cool Amy Butler fabric!! There are more pictures of these so that The Bum can revel in their Amy Butler-ness from afar

Dickenson Christmas 2009

2010-01-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

Every year, we gather with Mama's family on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and eat entirely too much yummy food. This tradition predates all of us -- Mama's family did this when they were only children. They would go from house to house of their father's family members seeing decorations, exchanging gifts, and eating. We did this through our entire childhood, and I remember very fondly driving home at midnight from one uncle or another's house very tired but ready for more Christmas the next day. I'm sure it wasn't snowy every year, but that's always how I remember it: snow and a full moon. I'm so glad we have these traditions to keep us anchored to our family, and that Brian shares in them as well. Hopefully soon we'll be able to honor his family's Thanksgiving tradition, as well, since that's a huge holiday for them!

Our family has grown from two uncles and mama with their spouses, to include five cousins. As we've all married, it's grown to include four more spouses and two younger cousins. As of Wednesday night, we're getting a new family member -- Annie is engaged! When you're used to the ginormous Hill family, the Dickensons are a much smaller and more intimate group of 18, counting Annie's fiance (that's also counting Uncle Carroll; his presence is still with us and is very much felt at each gathering). All growth now will be of the little, giggly types.

Here are a few pictures from Dickenson Christmas 2009. If you're one of my family reading this blog and want your picture removed, email me and let me know. Mama, you'll notice there are no pictures of you. You owe me money for that. Otherwise, here they are.....

Whirlwind

2010-01-01T13:35:00.003-05:00

Wow. It's finally 2010. I am so happy to be done with 2009 I almost cannot express it. I just read back over my last post from December 7, when Aunt Margie was struggling for her life. So much has happened since then! If you had seen Aunt Margie on Christmas Day, at her rehab center, laughing and joking and sneaking the deer bologna we brought her when her nurse left, you'd swear I'd jumped the gun by posting that. She is doing great. Is she healed completely? No. Do her lungs work? Nope. Never will again, but that's not new. But she's survived and she's ready to bust right out of that rehab center. After my post on December 7, Aunt Margie suffered a heart attack. She had a fever so high she was packed in ice. There was an obvious infection, and she was diagnosed with sepsis. Finally, the doctors uncovered four different areas of infection in her body and said that if she was able to be stabilized, then surgery would be necessary as one of those places was a heart valve, according to the Hill Grapevine. A few days later, she was responding well to antibiotics, was moved from CICU, and was discharged about a week later to a rehab facility here in town to receive eight more weeks of IV antibiotics. She has good days and bad days, but she's doing so much better than anyone anticipated. At one point, she told us that she remembers waking up and seeing her whole family standing around her bed, crying. She said that she realized at that point that something was bad-wrong, and that she must be in a bad way, and that she better get better right away. She's strong, I'll give her that.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, 2009 continued. And continued to suck. The week before Christmas, my great-uncle Billy passed away. He was Mama's maternal uncle and the only remaining sibling of my grandma. We lost his sisters last year, three weeks apart. Uncle Billy had cancer and was recently admitted to the same rehab center where Aunt Margie is hanging out. His death came as a blessing to him, but a blow to us. While it was expected, we're sad to lose the last of an entire generation.

The following week, Uncle Billy's brother in law, Mama's uncle Ray died. He was Aunt Ruby's widower, and had suffered from dementia for a few years. He took such good care of Aunt Ruby during her struggle with Alzheimer's, and we think the strain eventually took its toll on him. He was a sweet man, always smiling, and dearly loved. At his funeral on the last Sunday in 09, we all remembered how much he loved life and his family. He will be sorely missed, but his family knows he is better now.

This has been a horrid year. We've seen Cousin Mike, The Bum, and The Godson move too far away, lost an uncle, two great uncles, nearly lost another uncle and an aunt, saw Mama through major surgery, a minor but scary surgery for Brian's sister, dire financial straits for us (and many others in our close circle of friends), a hospitalization for Brian, and so many little personal tragedies that I never even posted about because it was too depressing. I am so glad it's over. Already 2010 has a brighter gleam to it, and is full of so much promise.

I was actually getting on here to post pictures of Christmas and of some of the craftiness that occurred around here in preparation for the holiday. I'll set those up to publish later tonight or tomorrow, because later tonight I'll be watching the recorded version of the WVU Bowl Game with Brian tonight. Please do not tell us what happens, we prefer to watch it!!

Instead, here's a quick Thank God...It's Friday because I just realized it's Friday. I love holidays....

Praises

Aunt Margie's doing well!
2010 is here!
One of my little guys from daycare has become a big brother Wednesday. I don't post their names, so suffice it to say that Big P welcomed Little P and everyone is doing well.
Mama may have found out why her legs have been swelling, causing her a lot of pain. The culprit? Country ham. Hopefully now she can continue to heal and run around like a crazy woman (seriously, she ran the other day) once she gets rid of all that salt-induced fluid.

Requests

Brian needs a new job. I am so not kidding.
I think I've pulled a muscle in my back. I'm used to my back hurting in the morning, but it hasn't stopped today and it's in a different place than usual. It hurts a bunch, so I'm taking it easy today in hopes that it heals up fast!
We're hoping to go to West Virginia in a few weeks. We pray that trip will go off without a hitch, as we've had plenty of hitches in the last few times we planned to go. We miss Brian's family, The Bum/Godson/Cousin Mike, and all Brian's friends that we only see a few times a year.
We're hoping to start IUI this month. I'm nervous and there are a million details to iron out, but we're praying it all goes smoothly. And is successful!!

Not Again

2009-12-07T09:15:00.003-05:00

My aunt Margie is my Daddy's older sister. The third oldest in a family of nine, she was born on my Pappy's 21st birthday. She has a daughter and a son, four grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. She's an absolute trip, and finally told me how to make ham pot pie over Thanksgiving dinner last weekend. Every time I make something for a Hill get-together, I'm hoping that Aunt Margie will like it. Praise from her is hard-won and always sincere.

Aunt Margie has a bad heart. And lungs. She's had two open heart surgeries and has been on oxygen 24 hours a day for several years. None of this has kept her spunky self down. She just took her portable oxygen tank and went on. Some days her snazzy, flowery cane is a "Ho Stick", other days a "Pimp Cane".

Unfortunately, Aunt Margie's heart and lungs are giving out very quickly. She went to UVA yesterday, and was not in good condition. Daddy was on the phone periodically through the day checking on her and making plans to visit. This morning, another sister, Aunt Elaine, called to let Daddy know that Aunt Margie is at death's door. She wasn't expected to live through last night, and has said she doesn't want to be on life support. Her daughter has been called back off from a vacation, and the family is being gathered. Aunt Margie is struggling to breathe, has almost no blood pressure, and is in pain. Please, please keep her family and ours in your prayers. Needless to say we don't want to do this. But more specifically we don't want to do this AGAIN. This has been the longest year of many of our lives (certainly mine) and I just can't wait for 2009 to be over. Please pray as you're led, and for more strength for an already very strong lady.

The Grinch

2009-12-06T22:58:00.003-05:00

Has anyone seen my Christmas spirit? I seem to have misplaced it. I have a hunch it's in the very same place as my patience, my compassion, and my motivation. I haven't seen any of these in several weeks, so if you happen to find them, please send them back to me.

I'm serious, ya'll. It's been a bit ragged around the Baileys household lately. At first, I was stressed out from Mama's surgery and from having extra kids around the house. They filled up all the bedrooms and the front room and I couldn't do any cleaning at all during nap time. I don't like to leave the kids alone when they're playing, so that was out, too. Nothing got done around here and I was perpetually in a bad mood. Soon enough, though, I was back to my normal four kids each day with nap time to myself. Even the baby had the good grace to start taking normal naps almost instantaneously.

Then, Brian's work schedule kicked up for the holidays. If you've never been around us during the Christmas season, you can't really comprehend it. He works six to seven days each week, 11-16 hours each day. Most of the time he works from 1 PM until 12:30 AM, getting home just as I go to bed, provided I've been able to stay up that whole time. He comes to bed around 3:30 or 4 AM, usually turning the light on in the bathroom to brush his teeth. No big deal -- a man's gotta see, right? But I sleep facing the bathroom.... I get up around 7:15, and he sleeps until about 11 or 11:30 and starts the whole cycle again. If we're really lucky, he gets to open the store at 5 AM, or gets to go in at 7 AM, and gets home from either of those shifts around 6:30. On those nights we actually get to see each other. Work takes precedence over everything else, and the schedule is subject to change at a moment's notice. The only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that as much as I hate it, he hates it 100 times more. It's Sunday, at 11 PM, and he's at least two hours away from coming home. Strangely, being alone this much makes me irritable and depressed, and unmotivated to do anything at all. I don't like alone time. If I did, I'd still be single.

Because Brian is gone so much from mid-November through early January, all the Christmas prep falls to me. Usually I don't mind. Usually I revel in the whole Christmas thing, decorating and baking, crafting and shopping. This year, I didn't buy a single gift until sometime around Thanksgiving. Our tree has been sitting in our living room -- scratch that: laying in our living room in its big storage bag -- for over a week now. See, we have a little cat pee problem. Someone (we think Belle) is peeing along the baseboard. Not huge amounts, but really frequently. It seems to be an attitude issue. We've cleaned the carpet and walls and tried really hard to get rid of the smell, but she keeps doing it. Somehow she managed to get pee behind our bookshelf. All that needs to be cleaned before the tree can go up. It's December 6 -- at this point, why are we bothering?! Luckily, I have most of the shopping done that needs to be done. Of course, that's nothing for Brian's family since we don't see them until after Christmas, and a lot of the gifts we still have undone are ones that I'm making. Did I mention I need to make about 12 dozen cookies, too? Yeah. And a lot of candy. Meanwhile, I haven't packed up all of the Halloween decorations yet.... Did I mention I'm in a really bad mood like 99% of the time?

Today was no different. Things were going fine, and then they all went straight to hell in a hand basket. It's a long story, but several things went very wrong all at once. I lost it. I was not nice. I was definitely hateful to my husband, and to anyone else around me for a while. Why am I putting this out there? Because I have a hateful tongue, and I need to deal with it. I'm done hiding it, pretending that I don't, and I need some accountability. So here it is. Brian reads this sometimes, and all of my closest friends and not a small amount of family do. I have not been nice lately, and I need to fix that immediately, if not sooner. Keep me accountable, please. Even more important, please pray for my wicked sharp tongue and some self restraint. Lord knows I need it. Lately I'm overwhelmed by life itself, and when I get overwhelmed I get angry. I need to fix all this and get myself under control. I'll be cutting out a few things, cutting out some of my commitments, saying "no" more often, and trying to remind myself that the important things are those I do right here in this house, for my husband, to make it a better place to be and his soft place to land. Somewhere along the line I forgot that and started feeling entitled. It's time to find Simple again. Maybe then I'll feel like celebrating Christmas and being all warm and fuzzy. I sure hope so.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-11-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

No, really -- Thank God, it's finally Friday. Do not get me wrong: I love my job. More than most people in the world, probably. But I am looking forwared to finally having a weekend that is unscheduled, where the most "planned" activity I have is our church's Thanksgiving dinner after worship on Sunday. Other than that, I'm planning on avoiding all planning. Just dinner with the family tonight (avoiding cooking, too, apparently), and straightening up my filthy house. It's really gone to pot lately around here, and I've had no motivation to clean a thing. So this weekend, I'm indulging my neat-freak side, provided I can resurrect it and dust it off! Now, let's all

Thank God....It's Friday

Praises

This week, we're thanking God for quiet in our neighborhood. The neighbors are moving and all the (known, confirmed, we're not just being judgmental) drug dealers are gone. Yay!

Mama saw the doctor this week and found out that her sore hip is not something that needs further surgery. More on that below....

Patsy Clairmont, who MadHat76, VA, and I saw at Women of Faith in August, has a son named Marty. He was literally saved from death by prayers and petitions this week. A lot of work from doctors, too, of course. But many thousands of people were praying, and the Lord heard. Yay!

Uncle Billy breezed through his second knee replacement with none of the problems that plagued his first one, and is doing great.

I'm continually thankful for an amazing husband, a great house full of snuggly kitties, a good job, a wonderful family, enough to eat, money for bills, and fabulous friends! Not just on Thanksgiving Day but every day of the year, give some thanks!

Requests

Please, please, please pray for Anissa Mayhew. I've been reading Anissa's blog a little, but was first aware of her from Heather Spohr's blog. Anissa suffered a massive stroke on Tuesday, and then another. You can visit this blog link here for an update. Please pray for this sweet family who have been through so very much and now are facing even more.

One of my daycare children's grandma fell down the steps on the 8th, and has a traumatic brain injury. Following surgery to remove a portion of her skull to allow for swelling in her brain, she has been minimally responsive and has not woken up until today. She has had partially collapsed lungs and irregular heartbeat. Today she is waking up and is "agitated". Please pray for Karen, her husband, and their families.

Mama's knee surgeon says she needs to have a manipulation. I'm totally going to offer to drop by and manipulate her, hopefully out of a thousand dollars or into cleaning my house, but I have a feeling he means something a little different. Apparently it's an outpatient procedure in which she receives a spinal block, an injection in her left knee, and then her knee is manipulated to 120 degrees. Ouch! But, it's a quick surgery and she'll be home the same day with minimal pain compared to her previous surgery. This should break up all the scar tissue that has bound her knee up and prevented it from bending up till now. Please pray for a great outcome and minimal pain.

I'm sure there's a lot more. If you have something you're thankful for or need lifted up, include it in the comments. There are a few people who actually read this blog, believe it or not, and they do intercede on behalf of anyone who needs it. And, of course, so will I. Meanwhile, have a tremendous weekend and a happy Thanksgiving!!

Rainy Wednesdays Make Me Tired

2009-11-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

How on earth is it already a third of the way through November?! I'm not ready for Thanksgiving or Christmas or any of this stuff. Things around here continue to be a little hectic, but hopefully it will slow down soon. Brian's hours at work are picking up to a ridiculous degree, so I'll have abundant time at home alone to accomplish stuff. Yay...not really. I'd rather have him home.

There's a lot going on right now, but I haven't really had time to mention it on here. Here's kind of a bullet list....

Happy Birthday to Little Bro. He's technically 26, but he said 25 was so good he plans on repeating it. So he's 25+1 today! I have been incredibly blessed in the brother department, and I couldn't ask for better.

One of my day care children's grandmothers fell Sunday night and sustained a traumatic brain injury. I can't imagine what their family is going through!!

Stellan had major surgery this week and God was there in full force, of course, deserving all the praise. I'm sure there's a lot more to be done yet, but I know Yaya Princess and I were ecstatic over the outcome!

I'm making felt play food for my day care kids. It's so much fun I can't hardly stand it!

I'm geeky excited about a designer handbag bingo this weekend. Nothing like free purses for a good cause.

Someone needs to come clean and organize my house for me ASAP. I'm accepting applications now....

Have I mentioned how much this rainy Wednesday is making me want to veg out?! What motivates you to get off your duff on days like this?

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-10-23T13:00:00.000-04:00

It's been so long since I blogged about anything that I'm surprised Blogger didn't say "Who?!" when I logged in. I cannot explain to you all how busy it's been around here, but I also know that's no excuse. Heaven knows I've had time to farm on Facebook, embroider a tablecloth, try to learn to knit, dodge housework, and have slumber parties with Mama. Of course, there are also countless crazy children running around my living room most days so that kind of kills any desire to do anything more than nap once they leave. Today is Friday, thank the good Lord above, so we'll jump back on the TG...IF train today, as well as a mini-update.

When last we left our superheroes, ~~they~~ we had survived Mama's double knee replacement surgery (yeah, we only had to sit in the waiting room while she went through the surgery...but we all survived so there!) and she was well on the road to recovery. While Mama's chomping at the bit to be back up and around and feels that her recovery is taking literally forever, in all actuality she's doing better than expected and is healing amazingly quickly. Thank you to everyone who's prayed for her and the rest of us, brought food, checked in, hung out with her, or in general forgiven our forgetfulness because we were exhausted. Things are settling into some kind of normal. I'm back home, Mama's talking about going back to work in the next few weeks, and sometimes she can be found out and about taking in the sights.

Since then, I've been working on planning our Annual Halloween party for next Saturday. Growing up, all the family that lived in the county (you know, where there's plenty of cow tipping but no trick or treating?) came into town and used our house as a home base of sorts. The kids went out and canvased the neighborhood for junk food, and the adults stayed home and enjoyed chili, gossip, and whatever costumes the neighborhood kids had to show off. Our neighborhood growing up (which is a whole three blocks from our neighborhood now) was great for kids, and car- and truck-loads of them would show up for Halloween. As time went on, this tradition continued with slightly-more-grown-up cousins dropping in to show off costumes, as well as all the munchkins Mama had for daycare. Unfortunately, Mama and Daddy's house is a split foyer, so there are lots of stairs involved in answering the door. A few years ago I offered to take that responsibility off her hands and have Halloween here. I love it. I love having our family, old friends, new friends, my daycare kids, and Mama's daycare kids over to the house, and about 500 neighborhood kids (not exaggerating) at the door. So if you're in the area on Halloween and want some chili or cake, drop in! Until then, I'll be cleaning our house and maybe have some curtains hung by then. Ha!

Brian had his second sleep study and now sleeps with his Luke Skywalker mask (seriously click that link -- it's hilarious) at night. It's so quiet in our house. Ah...... Hopefully in a few more weeks he'll feel even better as he catches up on some missed sleep! I've noticed a difference in him lately, and I hope he will be able to soon!

Meanwhile, we're both dodging the flu like crazy people. Folks are sick at Brian's store, kids' parents are sick here at the daycare, and it seems like everyone we know has someone sick with the porcine plague. I woke up feeling all queasy and Brian feels like trash today, too, so hopefully it's just because it's been a long week. Here's hoping!

Now, without further adieu....

Thank God....It's Friday!

Praises

I am incredibly thankful for my husband. Always, but I'm just throwing it out there again this week. He understands me, he gets me, and he loves me anyway. That's just cool.

Thank God Mama is doing so well, and that she has such an awesome "support staff" there with her throughout the day!

Yay for grass-fed, organic, locally grown beef. Our second beef will be arriving tomorrow to stock our freezer, and I'm so excited. We weren't sure we'd be able to afford it this year, but God provides and makes things happen. Yay for yumminess that is so good for you!

Some projects that we've been working on for the past year or so are finally coming to a head. That includes things like curtains, finally decorating our house, screen doors, and many other things that we've been hoping for but putting on the back burner.

MadHat76's husband had a great report at the foot guru this week!

Sealgair is getting all tatted-up this weekend! I know she'll have a ball! Of course, she has only added fuel to the fire of desire for my tattoo number two....

Thank heaven for great friends and simple weekend plans like this.

Requests

Please continue to pray for Mama's knees!

One of my daycare families has a cousin affected by the H1N1 flu. She is 12, and is not doing well. She's had the flu for three weeks, and her lungs are affected. Please be with her in prayer.

MadHat hates her job. She's working for some seriously screwed up people. Please pray she finds a new job, preferably before she needs bail money....

Brian's in the same boat. Pray on that one, too!

Our neighbors are a hot mess of white trash drama. Not to be judgmental, but my doors are perpetually locked now. Please pray that this situation resolves itself quickly and painlessly!

Well, it's time to get ready for a three year old's birthday party!! Have a great Friday, and I promise I'll be better about keeping you updated!

Three Years?!?!

2009-10-07T14:10:00.002-04:00

Three very quick years ago today I married the most amazing man. He's the sweetest, most gentle, most even-keeled man I've ever met, and he makes me a whole person. Marrying him was the smartest thing I've ever done, and our wedding day was the best day of my life to date. I love him more every day and I can't wait to see what the next hundred years hold!

Happy Anniversary, Brian!

Success!

2009-09-30T22:57:00.002-04:00

Short but sweet: Mama's surgery was a roaring success so far!! We said goodbye to her around 11 AM, and Dr. Pereles said that it would be approximately three and a half to four hours until he came to see us with a report. We hung out and talked, crackberried, and had lunch until 3:25, when Dr. Pereles let us know that Mama had done fine and was in recovery. After some mix-ups getting her correct room set up, we were able to join her there around 4:45. She was understandably groggy, shivering, and cold, but was alert and already installed in her Continuous Passive Movement Machine. She was able to eat a little bit of her dinner and keep it down, and we got her settled in and all her goodies unpacked and put away. She took a little percocet for the pain and we left her drifting back off around 7 PM. Little Bro will be with her tomorrow, Daddy will go by after work, and Brian and I will be joining her around 6:30 when I get off. I am amazed at her courage and strength so far, and can't wait until she is back up and around, enjoying her new legs!!

Thank you to everyone who joined us in prayer today, sent positive thoughts, called, or was with us in spirit. I know it means a lot to Mama, and it certainly does to me. Goodnight!

New Legs

2009-09-29T22:38:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is an important day in our family. Tomorrow, Mama gets her "new legs". Not entirely, of course. Tomorrow around 11:30 AM or so, Mama will undergo double knee replacement. She suffers from severe osteoarthritis, and has needed this surgery for about five years now. Tomorrow is the day!

We're not sure how long she'll be in-patient, and how long she'll need care once she arrives home, so things will be a little nutty around here for awhile. Hopefully I'll have more time to blog while I'm hanging out at her house, but I don't promise anything. I needed a little break for the past two weeks or so just to get some things taken care of, so I should be back in the blog-saddle soon.

Meanwhile, please keep my mama in your prayers. She's in for a long haul, but we're all so excited for her to have new legs!!

Update

2009-09-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

As I made my way through my blog roll today, I was blindsided by some horrible news. However, it was not unexpected. I think every day that I checked out Maxey Web, I was secretly a little glad to find it not updated, and so very happy when I saw it updated with information about Annette. Today, though, was different. Yesterday was the last day here for this sweet little girl who endured so much. This family lost their first daughter as well, and I can't imagine how they'll cope or what they'll say to their son in the days to come. Please pray for them, go to their site and comment to let them know that you're thinking of them, and then go hug your babies and loved ones really tight.

Monday, Monday....again

2009-09-14T13:00:00.000-04:00

Ugh. Yet another Monday? Where do these things come from? We had a great weekend, and I hoped to go into the week well-rested and at great peace with the world. Unfortunately, when I was still laying awake (lying? laid? Whatever - prostrate in bed, ya'll) last night at 2 AM....well, all that flew out the window. I couldn't shut my brain off and I couldn't stop Brian's freight train-esque snoring (more on that in a minute). And a couple random men were talking outside (it's two AM!!). So today I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Saturday was lovely, as I spent the day with Mama at a bluegrass festival nearby. We saw several great bands, ate yummy food, talked a lot, and generally hung out. The weather was gorgeous and we were home in time to get ready for the next day's reunion.

Sunday was the Hill Reunion. My cousin and I organize the whole thing, and it's a ball. The weather was just as lovely, the food twice as good, and the people entertaining as always. I'll be posting some pictures here and on our reunion website hopefully later tonight or tomorrow, so be sure to check them out.

Other than all that, I don't have a lot to write about. We're just working, trying to get a few big projects around here taken care of (like rebuilding a bookshelf, done last weekend!), and thinking about Fall and Winter. We're shooting for a mostly-handmade Christmas again this year, and I can't very well blog about that, can I? Over half our family and friends read this! Just suffice it to say that I'm teaching myself to knit and embroider, and leave it at that. Mama is preparing for her double knee replacement, so I'm trying to figure out the best way to help her for a few weeks/months as well. Brian was diagnosed with mild to moderate sleep apnea last week (yay for concrete diagnosis of something!!). He'll go back in next week to be fitted for a CPAP machine and will hopefully be better rested very soon.

So, bear with us. I'll blog when I have something to write about. Look for pictures coming soon. And pardon me while I go take a nap.....

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-09-04T13:00:00.000-04:00

Crazy-busy August has given way to a slightly less crazy-busy September, and with it comes my favorite season of the year. I love Fall in such a big, big way. I am in my element in Fall, boy. I know I skipped a TG...IF last week. Too much was going on and I just didn't feel like it. No excuses, just didn't wanna. But here you go.....

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

Thank the good Lord above for three day weekends. Especially when Brian actually gets all three days off as well!!

I turned 32 this past week. I'm thankful for the privilege of doing so.

My parents will have been married for 42 years this coming week. I have it on good authority that they married at 5 and 9 years old.... Thank God for them, the childhood they gave us, and for their example of stick-to-it-iveness and love.

Have I mentioned I'm immensely, amazingly, overwhelmingly thankful for my husband? Just making sure....

The slings I took to OTTB are selling!! Yay for supplemental income and validation!

Requests

Mama will be going in for surgery on September 30th to replace both her knees. Though she is quite attached to the pair she has now (hardy har, right?), I'm sure she'll love her new ones even more. I pray she has a good month leading up to the big day and doesn't get too nervous.

Pray for Dr. Peerless, the doctor who will be taking care of Mama, that he'll have wisdom, knowledge, skill, and whatever else it takes to have her dancing again soon.

Please go to Maxey Web and pray for Annette. Her family has taken her home, and hospice has been called. They are so much stronger than I could ever be in the same situation.

Brian's physical therapy seems to be working on his jacked-up rotator cuff. We pray the healing continues!

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-08-21T13:00:00.000-04:00

Ah, Friday. Blissful, peaceful, relaxed Friday. Yeah, right. Around here it's still pedal to the metal on Fridays. So, wasting no more time in chit chat....

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

I am immensely, amazingly thankful for my husband, who forgives me for being rash and mouthy, who takes care of so many crazy catastrophes in a day and still handle mine when he gets home. Thank God he gives me a "do over" daily!

Likewise, thank God that He does the same!!

Thank God for friends. For the ones you can call on a moment's notice and know they'll talk you off the ledge or commiserate with whatever's going on in your life, and tell you how right you are all the time. And come to your house to make pajama pants, giving you the best laugh you've had in a while.

Brian had an appointment with his neurologist this week, and he's perfect. Or at least that's what his tests say! The neurologist couldn't find anything physical to explain Brian's neurological anomalies, which is actually a relief. Things have gotten exponentially better since he's staying more hydrated and got glasses, so we pray that might be the answer!

Requests

Not a lot going on in this department...which is a praise! Some of you may know that Brian has boogered his shoulder somehow. Probably at work, lifting carpets. He's seen the doctor and has an appointment with a physical therapist next week. But it's starting to hurt daily, nightly, all the time. We really pray it's not a torn rotator cuff, but that's the most likely. This has been going on for months (and months and months) through all the other stuff he's been dealing with. So please pray for his shoulder and some fast healing.

I'm taking a set of baby pouch-style slings to On The Turtle's Back tonight. It'd be really nice if they all sold like hotcakes!

This weekend is nutty busy for us, so I'll try to see you Monday....maybe with pictures. No promises, though!

Is There A 12 Step Program For This?

2009-08-19T22:02:00.004-04:00

Hello, my name is Andrea and I'm an addict.

I'm addicted to really trashy TV. Nap time = trashy judge shows around here. I heart Judge Toler, ya'll. I think Judge Joe Brown may be going senile, and at the very least hates his job. I think Judge Judy is rude...and I love her for it. I seriously wonder where on earth they get the people that are on these shows!?!

Right now, I mean right-this-minute I'm watching my newest fix.... Toddlers And Tiaras. Ohmygosh. Do not get me wrong -- I was in pagents as a child, and two of my sisters in law were in pagents all the way through high school. But if you haven't watched this travesty of human social interaction and child rearing....oh, you are missing out. Last week a child started out her dance routine wearing a coat and then took it off to reveal her little bra-and-pants combo. Um, that's called stripping, folks. She was something like seven years old. Future Strippers Of America, here we come.

The commercial is off...gotta go feed my habit. Goodnight!!

Gasp.....Yawn....

2009-08-18T13:41:00.003-04:00

It has been a nutty, nutty few days. You may have heard that YaYa Princess and I were going to make pajama pants this weekend. You heard wrong. What we actually made was more akin to tents....our pattern was all jacked up and we finally had to just start cutting fabric and making it up as we went along. After four fabrics, tons of elastic, and a useless pattern, we ended up with one pair of pajama pants. And a ton of laughs, so that's something.

This week I have five kids in care officially. Granted, that's technically only four spots, but with picking up extra kids here and there for fill-in and back-up care that puts me back at full time work. Thank goodness!! What that does mean is that I'm run ragged and exhausted. Hence the gasp and yawn.....

Tonight is Brian's sleep study to find out if he has apena. Something is up, we just don't know what it is. Please keep him in your prayers - we need some wisdom.

Off to eat a little lunch. Ya'll have a great day!

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-08-14T23:58:00.003-04:00

I know it's late. I've been chained to the sewing machine for the past two nights and am trying to get things done. So, with like 30 seconds left to Friday...

Thank God....It's Friday (or Saturday)!

Praises

I thank God immensely today that every day is new and fresh and that we can start over. And that I can do it again tomorrow since I'm gonna need it.

Thank God my husband is very similar in this respect....

We're thankful that business is picking up around here and by next week I'll be thatmuchcloser to making the amount of money I'm supposed to each week. Whew! What a long year it's been!

Thank the good Lord for naps. That's all I have to say about that.

Requests

Please keep Annette in your prayers.

Mama and her friend, Coe, are travelling this weekend. Please keep these crazy ladies in your prayers.

Ditto YaYa Princess, who is travelling to see lil' ol' me!!!

I think I'm forgetting something, but I'm not sure what it is.

Ya'll have a great weekend!

Saving The Best For Last

2009-08-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

I've always been a saver. Not money, heavens no. That I spend like I can freely print more in my basement. No, what I've always saved is "The Best". I eat sandwiches systematically so that the center is left for last. That's the best part, you see. A wonderful synthesis of everything that's on that sandwich all at once, in one bite. I do this with a lot of food, actually. I'll save that little bit of steak that's always more tender than the rest, or the center of just about anything because it's the best. I've also always saved "one for later". As a child this resulted in a lot of single pieces of Halloween candy floating around in a bag in my room for Mama to find.

The main problem with saving the best bite for last is that usually you're terribly full by that time, and forcing yourself to get through all of whatever you're eating in order to get to that special last bite never makes you feel better. It makes you feel stuffed, bloated, and uncomfortable. Who can enjoy The Best when you really wish you'd stopped 10 bites ago? Likewise with saving one for later. Too often later never comes, or you misplace that particular thing you're saving. What good did that serve?

As we've been trying to eat healthier, and as I've been trying (trying, trying, trying) to rid myself of about 292,083 pounds of excess me, one of the things we're doing is not cleaning our plates. When you get full, stop. Simple, right? Not when you've constantly felt like you're supposed to clean your plate, or when you have The Best waiting for last. It's a huge mind-set change for both of us, so I get pretty excited when I am able to say "nope, I'm full, and I don't need the other half of that piece of whatever it is." Empowering.

However, as someone who has long perfected this saving habit, that means that more often than not that bit that's left for the garbage disposal is The Best. That's just not right! I need to learn to just eat straight through something until I'm full, and take that middle bit in the order in which I receive it. Have The Best right smack in the middle of all the Pretty Decent, I guess.

This never fails to make me think about life. How often do we wait for a better time, save The Best for last, or leave something important for a later that never happens? If we're constantly dancing around the middle, taking care of the edges first, what are we leaving behind when we run out of time? I say eat the middle of that sandwich, put the good sheets on the bed instead of waiting for special occasions, and use those linen napkins. Wear your favorite top to the grocery store just because you can, and eat that last piece of chocolate right now. Sure, leave whatever you don't need on your plate, but don't miss out on The Best just because you never got there.

I'm hoping I'll rearrange my life to enjoy The Best whenever it happens. Hold me to it.

The Randomness That Is My Life

2009-08-10T09:00:00.001-04:00

One of the definite perks of my job is that the most random, hilarious things happen every day. Sometimes, I'll post about them so you can laugh your pants off, too. These are things you can only experience when surrounded by 1-5 year olds, so I'll be happy to let you live vicariously.

I try not to let the kids watch too much TV. And I'm very selective about what they do watch. One of the shows that I found out (inadvertently) that they love is Yo Gabba Gabba. This is totally not something I would ordinarily choose to have them see, but they LURVE it. If you have Noggin, it's currently on at 4:30. Check it out and laugh your butt off.

My favorite episode of this hilarity features Jack Black gueststarring. If you haven't seen him do children's stuff, you are missing out. I think that's where his true talent lies, and I can't imagine what a fun dad he must be. We've seen him on Sesame Street, too, which was just as fun. But his Yo Gabba Gabba episode just makes me snort. The only clip I could find of it online is gone now, but you can google it for great stuff. You still don't see the funniest part, though. It's a little something called Dancey Dance Time, and the kids can't figure out why I laugh for about five minutes every time I see it. When you click that link, you'll want to watch the .... HOLY CATS, here it it. Dancey Dance Time. You're going to snort. Clickit that link and play the video. You will not regret it. I just found it as I was looking for the original link, so if it goes down please let me know so I can edit this.

Just about as hilarious is Elijah Wood's Dancey Dance Time on Yo Gabba Gabba. This is how I entertain myself these days, folks.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-08-07T09:00:00.001-04:00

Holy cats, it's been a crazy week! I should have known going into last weekend already tired wasn't a good thing. I officially need a lot less nuttiness in my life, and to make up for a huge sleep-debt. Remember when Brian was away for ten days and I nearly broke my ankle, and then my in-laws came, and then Brian was in the hospital, and then we had lots of fun plans, and then my uncle took a turn for the worse and passed away? And then I went to hang out with the biggest, most fun group of women I ever could ask for? That was a little something we'll call JuneJuly, during which I'm not sure I slept more than 5-6 hours nightly. I seriously cannot believe the turn this summer has taken, and cannot wait for it to slow down. Since all of August is now booked up tight, I'm quite literally praying for September. Not trying to wish my life away, but definitely looking forward to some peace and quiet. Speaking of praying.....

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

Thank God that this week was fast, and that Brian is patient. Nothing is getting done around here while I am the full-time (but happy) slave to a four month old. I had forgotten just how hands-on they are at that age.

I'm glad that we get to spend a great weekend with each other, and with my family. We'll be concert-ing and there are rumors of a trip to Skyline Drive floating around.

Stellan is doing great! You may remember that I've been following Stellan's story for quite some time, and that I asked you to pray for him last Monday. The YaYa Princess has been watching Stellan's situation, too, and I hope you'll keep him in your prayers as well. But for now, the Lord was good yet again and Stellan is home and doing great. He'll get to grow a bit more before he heads to Boston for more surgery.

MamaSpohr, who is on my mind so very often, is pregnant. I am so glad that this sweet family is growing again. Understandably this brings a lot of mixed emotions after the passing of her first daughter this Spring, but I pray that this second baby (Binky for now, her blog says) is able to be a balm to her soul and that she'll feel Binky bringing her Maddie's love with every snuggle.

MadHat76's husband seems to be doing well. I've seen the pictures and it ain't pretty. But it seems like they're settling into a nice routine.

Requests

Please continue to pray for Annette over at Maxey Web. She simply isn't doing well, and I'm sure that the diagnosis of radiation necrosis in her brain is a bigger blow to her parents than we can even imagine. She was supposed to head into surgery today for a tracheotomy, but was rescheduled for Monday. Please keep her whole family in your prayers.

Have I mentioned Brian needs a new job? Cause he does. Pray on that, will you?

One of my friends from ages ago is going through a lot. A lot. I'm not going to air it on the Internet, as it's not in my place. But please keep him and his daughter in your prayers.

If you have any prayer requests or praises, please don't hesitate to leave them in the comments section. Though I don't always reply, the comments dump right into my blog reader which dumps straight into my phone. So I seem them and pray for each one of you. It's my hope that you'll do the same for the people you see commenting. Hey, lurkers....leave a comment and we'll pray for you, too!! Or just lurk -- that's what I tend to do, for the record!

Happy Friday, ya'll.

Playing Catch Up, the Monday Edition

2009-08-03T13:00:00.001-04:00

Yes, it's been a week since I posted. Yes, I missed a Thank God...It's Friday. Yes, it's been incredibly busy this week, and yes, I'm going to attempt to make excuses for my lack of posting. Seriously, though, it has been nutty around here in such a good way. Let's hit the high points...

I've filled all my day care spots. Woo hoo! Our live is arranged around my having five children in day care and that hasn't happened since last August. It'll take a few months of finagling, but I'll have five actual bodies in care full time by March 2010. Between now and then I'll be covering for Mama's surgery leave and another day care provider's maternity leave. But I start a new child part time next week, and a new child full time the week after that, so I'm not complaining.

We're battling ants again. Imagine my surprise when I came downstairs and found a huge (HUGE!) pile of ants on my downstairs carpet. Someone, who shall of course remain nameless, spilled her Pepsi the night before and only thought it was well-cleaned up. Apparently not so much. So for now, there are ant traps and some manner of "perimeter defense" that Brian put down that makes the yard off-limits for a week.

I've been working with Ford Maverick to make a logo for my Baileys Basics shop. I'll link to it once I get the shop all finished up. I'm working on making my shop stand alone instead of being connected to Etsy, so it's time to brand that baby. You'll notice I didn't link to Ford's site...if you know him, you have the address or can find it. I don't want anyone to hop over there from here and be completely shocked, so there's no link. You'll understand, I know.

I'm full-tilt into working on our Hill Reunion for 2009. This year there will be website for our family to use. Check it out at www.hill-reunion.com and let me know what you think.

I've been busy collecting fabric to make slings and baby wraps for the shop. Someday I'll actually get it all ironed, cut, pinned, and sewn. Sure I will.

This past Thursday evening, MadHat 76, VA, and I left for Washington, DC. We attended Women of Faith on Friday and Saturday. If you've never been to a Women of Faith conference, you are seriously missing an amazing experience. I can honestly say that it was one of my best experiences ever, that I was surprised by how much I loved it, and that I learned so much about myself and my relationship with the Lord. I cannot wait to go again next year. If you're interested in joining us next year, please let me know. We had an absolute ball!

Yesterday I spent the day recovering from the weekend. I was exhausted so I slept in late and then took a nap in the early evening. Now that my spirit is refreshed from WOF, I need the rest of my body to get in line and get caught up.

Even though it's been a busy week (month, really), we have a busy August coming up. Some things we're looking forward to are a George Jones concert with my family, hopefully a sewing weekend with the YaYaPrincess, another yard sale, and several reunions and picnics.

For now, I'd encourage you to go straight over to MaxeyWeb and catch up with Annette. She is not doing well and I am very worried, as I know many other folks are, too. Please love on her family and pray for this sweet little girl. Her family lost their first daughter to cancer and simply shouldn't have to lose their second little girl, too. Pray hard for her!

Smooches and love to you all, and a hope for a great Monday!

Urgent Monday Prayers

2009-07-27T11:37:00.002-04:00

Please pray RIGHT NOW for Stellan.

Please stop whatever you are doing right now and pray for Stellan. Please pray for wisdom for his doctors and nurses, strength for his parents, and health for his little body. Stellan has been fighting for so long, and is having a really hard time right now. God has worked in this little guy's life many times before, and he needs Him again now.

If you would lke to receive updates on Stellan's situation,

please follow MckMama on Twitter as she updates from his bedside.

What I Learned From My Uncle Carroll

2009-07-20T14:51:00.003-04:00

Carroll Lee Dickenson, born August 17, 1941, passed away Sunday morning, July 19, 2009. He spent the day before his death surrounded by his family, and was sleeping peacefully when he passed. Thank you to everyone who has lifted our families in your prayers over the past 6+ months. Your calls, emails, texts, cards, and visits have meant so much to all of us.

A few things have been running through my mind for the past few days. Of course, anytime more than two members of our family get together, there is going to be some storytelling. If you’ve never heard a Dickenson tell a story…well, you probably have accomplished something with all that free time. We, meanwhile, will have started on another story mid-stream, so please jump in and catch up! It’s been no different over the past months and days: lots of stories and histories were rehashed and told, some of which many of us had never heard. And many of the “Dickenson-isms” that have become part of our family language were thrown around and explained to visitors. I started realizing many of these nuggets were straight from Uncle Carroll. So, here are some things I learned from my Uncle Carroll…..

Tomatoes are good for you. They may taste disgusting, but you should eat at least one slice for dinner before you say you don’t like it. Especially if they came straight from the garden earlier that afternoon.
Clean your plate…..see above regarding tomatoes.
Do not kill the spiders in the corners. They are catching bugs, and have names. Uncle Carroll would never kill the spiders that terrorized me as a child, but told me they were his pets.
List all the cars you have ever owned. If it’s less than 50 cars in 52 years, you have some catching up to do.
If you can buy a beat-up, rusted-out version of the car you owned at 16, you should definitely buy it and restore it.
No family gathering is complete without one or more of the following: country ham, deer bologna, or shrimp.
Do NOT fill up on the cheap food. There’s something better coming down the line.
Go out to eat after church. Spend time with your family catching up and sharing a club sandwich.
Listen when a waitress says her name. Use it to address her so she takes your service a little more personally.
Travel a lot. You’ll have interesting stories to tell the grandkids.
Take lots of videos of your travels and organize movie nights to show them to your family. They’ll have more fun than they let on, I promise.
Sing it like you know it. This was wisdom imparted during choir practice, but applies in so many places.
Whatever song you sing, do really well at the beginning and the end. That’s all anyone really listens to anyway.
Sing through the rests. They are only suggestions.
Stick to the time schedule. Unless it needs to change to accommodate you!
Every vacation should be as education as possible. Visit lost colonies, take in outdoor dramas, and go to museums dedicated to the World’s Largest Whatever.
Trips to the beach are not for sunbathing. Wake up at 6, walk on the beach, and have breakfast followed by lunch followed by a seafood buffet. Repeat daily for 4-7 days.
If you keep walking through the pine trees, you’ll eventually see the lighthouse, and it will be amazing.
Bug spray on a hat keeps the gnats out of your eyes when everyone else is being eaten alive by noseeums.
That funny spot might just be a tick, so check it out in good light.
Make your exits gracefully, with great dignity, and surrounded by those you love. Especially that last exit.

We will all miss Uncle Carroll horribly, but know that he is safe with the Lord. He told our minister that he can’t wait to see the tree stand Jesus has picked out for him, and that’s how I’ll always think of him in my heart.

Saturday Update

2009-07-19T01:28:00.006-04:00

Mama called me this morning to let me know that Uncle Carroll was doing very badly and the doctor had suggested calling the family, saying that he only had a few hours left. He had started receiving morphine periodically and was bleeding internally.

Mama, Daddy, and I were at AMC by 11:00, and we stayed all day. I got home around 11:30 PM, and plan on returning in the morning. Uncle Carroll was extubated yesterday and so was able to talk with folks today, say goodbye, and give everyone lots of instructions (something he loves to do, which made us all laugh). By early this evening, he had been increased to a morphine drip and is mostly asleep. He is currently sleeping, but struggling to breathe. We will return to AMC tomorrow to keep watch and be with my aunt and cousin.

Please continue to pray for our family. We have so appreciated everything so far, the calls and emails, comments, Tweets, and prayers. While this is horribly hard for Mama and our family, it is exponentially harder for Aunt Ellen and Sara. I can't imagine what they are going through, and only pray for peace for them.

Thank you again, and I'll try to post tomorrow evening. If I have a chance, I'll Tweet tomorrow to let folks know what's going on. If you don't Twitter, well, you should! Follow me, and I'll follow you. Maybe I'll get all crazy and put up a "follow me on Twitter" link at some point. Love to you all.

UPDATE: Hey, look, it's My Twitter Feed! Right over there ------------------>

Friday Eve...

2009-07-16T21:59:00.003-04:00

And not like Friday night, either...more like the night before. This week, there will be no Thank God....It's Friday. Don't get me wrong: I'm as thankful as anyone this week. But I have more pressing matters on my heart than sharing a praise or request list with you.

If you've been reading my blog for anytime at all, you probably remember me asking for prayer for my Uncle Carroll. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January, and given 6-12 months. Chemo and radiation did no good and the cancer spread to his liver. As of a few weeks ago, he was told that his time was very short.

Friday afternoon, Uncle Carroll and his younger brother, Uncle Larry, were out on the mountain. Uncle Carroll asked Uncle Larry to take him to the ER because he was having trouble breathing. At that point he was admitted to the hospital and given breathing treatments. By 2 AM Saturday morning the doctors had called my aunt to return to the hospital and moved Uncle Carroll to ICU. He was intubated and was very close to death. He spent Saturday in an unresponsive state, fighting for his life. By the time we were able to see him Sunday he was alert and able to communicate via pencil and paper, but was still intubated. The possible diagnoses were pneumonia or pulmonary fibrosis as a result of chemotherapy. One is treatable and the other probably fatal.

From there it's been a bit of a roller coaster. Monday was good, Tuesday was bad. Wednesday was worse, but today was better. By now no one except my aunt, cousin, Uncle Larry, and Mom are allowed in the room. At that point they are gowned, masked, and gloved and are not allowed to touch my uncle. He will never be intubated, and no one can say for certain how long he will live. But it's not long, and we're now talking weeks, days, and hours instead of months or years.

Please, please pray for my uncle. He needs release, relief, and peace. Please pray that he is able to go to the Lord singing. Please pray for my aunt, who is being torn apart bit by bit. Uncle Carroll will leave one daughter who thinks he hung the moon. In addition to her husband, there are also two grandsons, age 5 and 8. While they both love their Pop, the older one is about to be completely devastated as he loses his absolute idol. Please wrap this family in your prayers and lift them to the Lord whenever you think about them. The rest of us need the same thing, but you already know that.

On a positive note, Mama met with her surgeon today. Everything went absolutely perfectly, and she is scheduled for a double knee replacement for September 30. This is exactly what she wanted: both knees simultaneously done after the summer but before Christmas. Her doctor is supposed to be amazing and does about 150 of these surgeries yearly. We are so excited for her to have "new knees", as she's been saying. She's currently bone-on-bone in both knees and has been for some time. She is in constant pain and should not be as mobile as she is. Of course, for someone who was told as a child that she'd be in a wheelchair by 40, that's pretty darn good. Horrible joints run in our family, and she's put up with this pain for years. I am so happy that she's going to be able to walk, sit, lie down and generally live with less pain in the near future. Maybe run and skip, and definitely dance as well!

Happy Friday, if you read this tomorrow. Love to all of you and thanks for all your prayers thus far, and please feel free to leave your prayer requests in the comments of this post.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-07-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sad...two Thank God It's Fridays back to back. I'll try to be a better blogger, I promise. As soon as I get my schedule back in shape. Trying to adjust to a new baby in the house is not as easy as I hoped, even though she is wonderfully sweet and well-behaved. It's just a different schedule these days and I am beat by the end of the day. So, for now...

Thank God....It's Friday

Praises

Brian is feeling much better every day. He got glasses this week and says they're already making a huge difference in his balance and dizziness. As long as he stays hydrated he's not been terribly dizzy lately. Hopefully he'll continue to adjust his lifestyle and improve more each week!

We had a great time with my family tonight (minus one, though) having an impromtu dinner. It's always fun to see family for dinner and fun!

My cousin gets married this weekened. We're all looking forward to the wedding and spending time with family.

Requests

Please keep my Uncle Carroll in your prayers. He is not doing well and needs to be lifted to the Lord as often as possible. He is now in pain quite often, and something has been found on his lung. The doctor says it's not cancer, but we don't know what it is. His pancreas is almost entirely cancerous now, and the chemo hasn't helped his pancreas or liver in the least, so some decisions have to be made. We are so afraid that he doesn't have much time left, and just pray that he'll have strength and as little pain as possible at this point. We pray the Lord will give him as many more months as possible, and that he has peace when the Lord calls him home.

Please pray for our friend Nate, who may be reading this right now. He has pancreatitis and recently spent time in the hospital. Hopefully he'll kick this nastiness soon and not have to return there!

MadHat76's husband had more surgery this week and is scheduled for reconstructive surgery on his foot in three weeks. Please keep them both in your prayers as they are tired, stressed, and probably worried sick.

Two of our family friends are going through rough times. I won't air their laundry, dirty or otherwise, here so please just pray for wisdom, patience, protection, and peace. Both of these women are struggling day to day, and need some relief very soon.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-07-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

This week, I'm just flat-out thanking the Lord for getting us to Friday. Seriously.

Thank God...It's Friday

Praises

Thank God my bug-eaten foot is feeling better. I had a major reaction to some manner of bug bite this week, as did Mama, two of my aunts, and one cousin. It was horrible, painful itchiness and in my case major swelling and heat, like with an infection. Now I'm just down to itching, which is actually a blessing considering how it's felt all week.

I have a new baby in care who is the sweetest little girl in the world. She's easy as pie, which is a great relief from the last few babies I've had.

Brian is rested and feeling better. He went to work this morning, so I'm praying all goes well. He's making some changes in the way he functions on a day-to-day basis, too, which is good.

Thank God I don't live in Iran or Honduras. That's all I need to say about that.

Requests

Please pray for Brian as he returns to work and tries to find a new job.

Please pray for everyone who is travelling this weekend, including Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy.

Please pray for MadHat76's husband who had surgery yesterday and is scheduled for more surgery in the next week.

Please pray for VA and her family for reasons both they and the Lord know.

Ya'll have a great Fourth of July weekend!

Big Honkin' Update

2009-06-30T23:00:00.001-04:00

Disclaimer/Update: I started this post on Monday. I'll hopefully get to publish it tonight, which is Tuesday. We'll see. I also intended to have tons of links to help you better understand all the tests, results, and wildness of our week. Yeah, not going to happen. Little tip: highlight a word, right-click on it, and choose

"Search Google for...". 'Cause I'm tired!

Original post:

Holy mother of pearl, it's been a crazy week. I mean seriously-crazy-not-fun-ER-visit crazy week. I'll try to catch you up as best I can, but bear in mind that it's been so nuts that I don't have the four days it would take to do our week justice. Or ten days, to be exact. Starting in order from when last we saw our superheroes....

Father's Day was lovely. Brian worked and I had a nice day celebrating Father's Day with my family. Last Monday was fun because I had a trial run with the new baby who will start here tomorrow, and it was wonderful to get baby snuggles again. The Big Kids have gotten to the point where they don't need me at all and would be just as happy if I let them go outside by themselves thankyouverymuch. Monday was the end of any fun and normalcy around here until....well, some point we haven't reached yet. Brian mentioned in passing that he had a headache Monday night. Then......

On Tuesday morning, Brian called me around 9:55. He sounded terrible, and I could tell he had a migraine and vertigo from the way he sounded. I'm becoming horribly familiar with that sound in his voice. He said he was on his way to the ER. From what I can gather he started feeling dizzy around 7:45 and went to the break room to grab a bite to eat. He was dizzy and had a headache. When he started dropping his food he started to worry, and stood up to go downstairs. He fell, and caught himself on the wall. Knowing that he couldn't make it down the stairs, he called for his friend/co-worker who is huge and very capable of lifting all 190 pounds of him (along with anyone else he happened to pile on, too, as he is very, very strong). Big Guy helped him down the stairs, to the front of the store and into a wheelchair. Apparently at this point Brian realized that he was hallucinating. Or else snakes had invaded the store, which is unlikely. Actually, not unlikely if you know the building, but it was a hallucination this time....

When I arrived at the ER 15 minutes later, Brian and Big Guy were in a darkened room and Brian was barely able to speak coherently, and was still seeing people and things that weren't there. Whenever he closed his eyes for more than a blink he was instantly dreaming, too. When he was taken to back to the ER, they wanted to treat him with meclizine. We knew from experience that when he is seen in the ER for vertigo they just give him this drug and send him home, and that it doesn't help him at all. They did not seem pleased that we refused their panacea. Then they sent him for a CT scan. Upon returning to his little curtained area, he immediately fell asleep. Huh?!?! Who sleeps in the ER?!?! The problem here is that he was asleep and snoring within 45 seconds, and was hard to wake him up. I tried for a while, nudging him and telling him he was officially that guy snoring loudly in the ER but eventually it was impossible to rouse him at all. When I could get him to wake up at all his eyes were going different directions and he made less sense than your average drunk. Soon I couldn't get him conscious at all. I was seriously worried, but no doctors were around. I alerted an orderly (the only person I could find who would make eye contact with me) and he started monitoring Brian. His pulse oximeter kept beeping as his respiration fell into the low 80's. No one seemed concerned at all. The doctor who finally showed back up around 3:00 suggested a spinal tap to rule out an infection.

It took me about a half hour to get Brian awake enough to sit up for his spinal tap. Then he had to lay flat for an hour afterwards. It came back clear, and he was starting to be more coherent by that point. So...they admitted him to the hospital. We reached his room around 5:00. That evening, we met his hospitalist, the neurologist who would be seeing him, and had some visitors. Brian slept well Tuesday night, and I stayed in the chair in his room. Rumor has it that I slept at least 2 hours that night, but I doubt it.... As we've been talking through this whole scenario, it's becoming clear that Brian has little to no memory of anything after about 10 AM through Wednesday morning.

On Wednesday, Brian had every blood test under the sun, an MRI, and an EEG. We waited patiently in his room for the rest of the day for the results and a discharge as he was feeling better. The doctor came around 5:30 and said that all the tests were clear and that she would send us home that evening after the neurologist finished looking at the EEG. I went home to teach two lessons. Around 7:15 Brian texted me to say that he had to stay overnight again. What?! Apparently the neurologist is a very cautious man who prefers to keep patients for 48 hours instead of 24. I'm not sure why no one told us this in the very beginning. Around this point, Brian got a roommate! He was an older gentleman suffering from congestive heart failure who apparently has very little time left. It was amazingly depressing to know this from over-hearing the nurses and doctors and yet realize that he and his wife did not realize it themselves. Because of the roommate, I was unable to stay overnight. We decided that I would work on Thursday so that I could more easily refrain from killing a nurse or a doctor. Brian was released at 5:30 on Thursday evening without ever seeing the neurologist again. He spent his hospital visit playing approximately 6 hours of Final Fantasy on his PSP, watching approximately 36 hours of CNN, one baseball game, and running through two Blackberry battery charges. He was bored out of his skull by Thursday evening, still stressed, and not rested.

The official diagnosis of sorts was exhaustion, stress, and extreme dehydration. Seems a steady diet of no food, caffeine, and 65 hour work weeks will do that to you. Go figure. Brian has been told to drink a minimum of a gallon of water or Gatorade daily, to eat regular meals and not just whatever crap he can find at the store when he has a minute, to get more rest and to have a sleep study to evaluate him for sleep apnea, and to get a new job as soon as humanly possible. The doctors told him that if he doesn't change his lifestyle, particularly his stressful job, then he will be dead in short order. I really, really hope he was listening.

For now, he's still off work (at the time of posting, today was ER Day +7, so that's a huge deal for him) pending a doctor's clearance. His sleep study can't be scheduled for at least 2-2 1/2 weeks, his actual neurologist can't see him until mid-August, and he's hoping to see our family doctor later this week. Thank you all for your calls, emails, texts, and especially prayers. We will be making (more) huge changes around here to de-stress, so we'll keep you posted on our new normal.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-06-19T09:00:00.002-04:00

Oh, praise the Lord, we've made it through another week. That's what it sounds like around here, in case you've wondered. And of course, that makes it time for....

Thank God....It's Friday

Praises

We're thankful for having a great visit with Brian's Parents last weekend, and that they had a safe trip back home.

Thank God that Steve's surgery went well, and that is he is home and resting up.

My ankle is healing up and I can almost go up and down stairs like a normal person again. Some of the time, at least.

Thank God for Dads!

I'm thankful that my sweet husband understands when I'm in a horrid mood for no apparent reason, and doesn't mind if my motivation takes a hike.

Requests

Please pray for Stellan. He is struggling with SVT and has been hospitalized. Please stay updated on his situation through his MckMama's blog and Twitter feed, and pray hard today.

Pray for the people of Iran. The situation this week has been partly to blame for my mood. I cannot belive the human rights atrocities that are occuring, and feel that the people are completely justified in their wishes. If only we had exhibited the same indignation when in the same situation. Please remember that no matter what your religious or political views, these are people just like you and me who have seen the direction their government is heading and have voted to make a change. They deserve to be heard and respected, not hunted, beaten, and killed. While it is not in our place to intervene, we must stand with them in prayer and moral support.

Please keep MadHat76's husband in your prayers. He's on the way home from meeting with a specialist in Baltimore all week, and has some less-than-spectacular news. There should be an update on her blog soon, I'd think.

Pray for Sealgair. She didn't ask for it, but I know she's been sick. Love on her a little.

Have a great weekend!!

Not Fit For Human Interaction

2009-06-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

Like several small children in my house right now, I am apparently not fit for human interaction this week.

I'm not sure why I seem to have to have awoke on the wrong side of the bed for two days straight.

You do not want me to blog today.

You do not want me to speak today.

I promise to return when I am able to speak nicely to my friends.

I am in time out.

Monday, Monday

2009-06-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Monday, everybody! Don't you love how I say that like I have more than four regular readers? Whatever, I love all four of you to pieces and hope you have a great Monday. At some point, I'll catch you up on our weekend. For now, though, please pray for my friend Steve. He will be having a total hip replacement today. Please keep him and his wife in your prayers, that he might have a safe surgery and a quick recovery.

Thank God....It's Friday!!

2009-06-12T09:00:00.003-04:00

Yep, it's Friday! So....

Thank God....It's Friday!!!

Praises

Brian had a safe trip home, and is off all weekend. Yay!

Brian's Parents will be here this weekend. We only see them about 5 times a year, so this is a special occasion.

My ankle is healing nicely, and has really impressive bruises to show off.

Sweet Lizzy's newest little niece was born last week!

Requests

Please keep the following people in your prayers: Uncle Carroll, MadHat76's husband, Sealgair's Uncle Gary, Cozie's Aunt Elva, JustMe's family friend, and Uncle Billy. If you are any of these people or if you know them, please post updates in the comments.

**UPDATE: MadHat's husband is in Baltimore today meeting with specialists regarding his foot. Extra prayers would be apprectiated, I think!**

**Further UPDATE: Please pray very hard for sweet baby Annette. She is battling cancer with all she's worth, and has a fever and possible infection. Go show her family some love, while you're at it!

Safe travel for Brian's Parents.

Safe travel for Little Bro and Sweet Lizzy, who are in the City of Brotherly Love for a bit.

Wow, that's a short one today, isn't it? Send me your praises so the list will grow! Have a great Friday!

10-Day Crash Course in Living Alone

2009-06-11T13:00:00.001-04:00

I've learned a lot during the past ten and a half days with Brian out of town. Some of it is very useful, and some of it is just depressing. Some of it is downright enlightening. In bullet form, here you go:

I can finally sleep with the TV off. I started ~~this bad habit of~~sleeping with it on when I was single, and I usually leave it on when I'm alone, but managed to do without it most of this week.

Brian creates most of the trash in our house.

I don't cook when Brian isn't here to eat. Maybe that explains the reduction in trash, now that I think about it.

All that mess in the bathroom sink? Not just Brian. When did I forget how to rinse the toothpaste out of the sink?

You never outgrow that childhood tendency to hear spooky noises when when you're home alone. Apparently I am still 11 years old.

Our cats love Brian way more than they love me.

My daycare kids love Brian way more than they love me, too.

The mess in the office? Totally all Brian's.

I can no longer drink a whole soda in a timely fashion. But I tried. A lot. Somebody pass the water, please.

Brian generates 75% of the laundry in this house. I've gone from 8-9 loads per week to 2....

I seriously hate cleaning out the litter boxes, and never want to do it again.

My mama is really good at picking injured people up from the Super-Mega Buy In Bulk Store, taking them to the ER, settling them in at home, and catering to their every Darvocet whim. She rocks.

So does my Daddy, for the record.

When left alone with 3 two year olds and no adult supervision, I will eventually begin talking the ear off of anyone older than 10 who will listen. This is probably annoying.

It's been a loooooong ten and a half days, folks. But my Pepsi Throwback ~~Advent~~ Husband Calender is starting to look promising. Here is what it looked like last night when I got my second to last (penultimate, if you will) soda for dinner.

Only one is sitting on the counter now, ready for lunch. Brian called earlier and is about eight hours away. I am so excited I can't hardly stand it, so I'm off to finish cleaning the house in preparation for the weekend. Have a great Thursday!

Thoughts From The Asylum

2009-06-10T09:00:00.001-04:00

Just a few random thoughts and universal truths for you this morning.....

If you pack your child's lunch and place their sandwich in a handy, eco-friendly sandwich keeper, you can probably get away without also using a plastic bag. Thanks for the double packaging!

If your child can sing all the songs on Noggin and tell you what comes on next, she watches too much television. Since she's only seeing an hour at daycare tops (and usually PBS), this means you watch too much TV at home.

Given a room full of toys, books, potato heads, and friends, some kids will still choose to lay on the couch and do nothing at all. Or in the middle of the floor. This same child will yell at their friends for then walking on them.

If you and your wife/husband are going to tell the daycare provider a blatant lie about your child's behavior at home, please get your stories straight. We can remember what we heard at 7:30 when we hear the opposite at 5:30 from someone else, I promise you.

If you take your child to the potty every half an hour, she is not potty trained. You are trained.

Committees exist for a reason. They are not there to simply agree with you and to be ignored when they don't.

Cats who scratched nothing at all when you lived in a hovel will shred walls, furniture, and carpet in the house you love and are still paying for.

Your child does not need applesauce and yogurt in the same meal. He has teeth for a reason, I think.

The child who is bossed around by older siblings will boss her friends at daycare.

All the really horrible things you allow your child to say at home, or God forbid say to her, will come right out at daycare while she talks on the play phone. Daycare providers will later discuss these hilarities amongst themselves, and probably judge you. Not me, of course. I'm just saying.

When you use your Blackberry as a home phone and general lifeline to the world, it's hard to find time for a two hour software update. Thanks for making that so hard, Verizon!

Enjoy your Hump Day, folks. This is my last full day alone!!! Tomorrow, what I learned while Brian was gone. It's been a learning sort of week, hasn't it?

Surprisingly Okay With It

2009-06-09T09:00:00.001-04:00

Last Tuesday evening one of my daycare parents told me that she's expecting. A baby, that is. I was so happy to hear it, as I love this little guy and think he'd make a great big brother. And they've done a stellar job raising their first child, so rock on.

After she told me, I had some time to think. I wonder if she was hesitant to tell me that she's pregnant since she knows what we've been dealing with, at least in part. I know if I were her, I'd be a little nervous and guilty feeling to tell an infertile woman that she'll get to take care of my next one. I really don't want people to feel this way! I hate to think that I've made someone uncomfortable or nervous. I am so happy for this family to be having another little blessing, and don't want them to dampen their enthusiasm for my sake.

That said, I do not always feel this way. I seriously hate to hear about yet another person who is having an unwanted baby, and feels saddled by that child. There are so many people who would love to adopt that baby, for the record. But, more to the point, I am infuriated by the fact that people can be so irresponsible and in return receive what I would give my right arm for and am trying so hard to achieve. That's annoying, quite frankly. So is hearing about how much someone's child bothers them. These things tend to make me react like a typical infertile.

However, I would never begrudge this family their happiness and I am so glad they've been blessed in this way. I know that this is not necessarily the case with a lot of people struggling with infertility, and I can respect that. But I was really pleased to discover just how okay I am with this news. Yay for babies!

Felled By A Blueberry

2009-06-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

For those of you who don't know me in real life, I am the Queen of Bizarre Injuries. Well, maybe the Duchess - Yaya Princess is pretty capable of some bizarre ones, as I'm sure she'd tell you herself. Basically, I fall. A lot. If there's an opportunity to bust my tail, I will. I have sprained my ankle numerous times. I fell from the top of a set of bleachers when I was 17. I have fallen up as many staircases as I have fallen down. I dislocated my kneecap last year by falling into my shower. I once fell in my parents' shower and ended up with a bruise in the exact shape of their soap dish on my rear end. I am a champ at falling, trust me.

Also, when Brian is out of town, weird things happen to me. When we lived in the old house, we had a bad problem with wolf spiders. I'd link to it for you, but I'm too weirded out to even look at the results. Google it. They're huge. When Brian would leave, the spider-count usually doubled. Considering we used to kill 6-7 daily, that's a dozen spiders a day when Brian was gone. Once, my exhaust system fell out from under my car while Brian was away. Fell out, ya'll. Invariably, he leave and the weirdness increases around here. See why I need him in my life?

This weekend was no exception to the rule. Saturday I had tons to get done, including grocery shopping, baking a pound cake for my cousin's surprise birthday party carry-in, and taking cards to the store where I'm going to sell them. Running behind schedule, I went to the store to drop off cards and found they were closed already. So I headed to my favorite Super-Mega Buy In Bulk Store (you know the one!) to pick up some tea tree oil. I found they had it in the pharmacy a while back and needed some more. They don't have it anymore, in case you're wondering. I went bopping toward the door, headed for the natural foods shop a block over. I noticed something squishy that looked like fruit on the floor in front of the registers. Being prone to busting butt, I was careful to give it a wide berth. Ordinarily I'm the type of person to report this to the nearest store associate so it can be cleaned up before anyone can fall and hurt themselves. I was in a bit of a hurry and it never even crossed my mind. I feel kind of bad about that.

As I continued on past the membership desk, I moved to the left to pass a couple walking slowly. Literally the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I had felt my ankle turn under, realized that my foot had slipped in something squishy, and landed on my right knee (thankfully, my good knee!). I was immediately horrified, mortified, and embarrassed beyond belief. Only about 8,392 people saw me, though....

People immediately notified the folks at the membership desk who helped me sit down in the food court and called a manager. Everyone was very sweet. I learned that when someone falls, the first thing you must do is offer them a drink. I was offered three drinks in a matter of minutes. Unless they contained morphine, I didn't need a drink. About 15 minutes later someone thought about ice. I filled out an accident report and was assured that someone from Liability will be calling me. Everyone was very sweet and helpful, and it's not their fault that all I wanted to do at that point was scream my ever-lovin' head off in pain. I called Mama and she picked me up, offered to take me to get a drink, took me home, and then took me to the ER. My ankle is sprained, of course. They x-rayed it, wrapped and braced it, gave me Darvocet and sent me home. I've been on the sofa or in bed since, moderately doped up. I'll schedule this to post Monday morning, and I should be back to work by that point, if a bit gimpy. It's amazing what a bit of rest, some ice, an Ace, and a lot of comfrey salve will do for you.

So what did I slip on? A blueberry. I know because in the middle of the fruit-squish I landed on was that weird little star-shaped thing that is on the stem-end of blueberries. Big, huge, Buy In Bulk blueberries. The really, really hilariously ironic thing is that I HATE BLUEBERRIES. Go figure.

Can someone please send my husband home before anything else goes cattywampus?

Thank God....It's Friday!

2009-06-05T09:00:00.004-04:00

Here you go, folks. Your chance to make some prayer requests, praise God right out loud, or just take a moment to pray for others.

Thank God...It's Friday!

Praises

As of the time of this posting, I have made it through 92 hours with Brian out of town.

Theoretically I have not lost my mind. Only 153 left go, roughly.

It's possible that by agreeing to cover for some other daycare providers (namely Mama) during their respective surgeries, maternity leaves, vacations, etc., that I will maybe have a full house for most of the fall and next winter. While I'd love to have 5 full time kiddos again, I'll take what I can get!

Requests

Mama's best friend from high school, Cozetta, has requested prayer for her aunt, Elva. She was in an accident with a school bus recently, and is very injured. I believe she also had a stroke, if I'm not mistaken, which may have caused the accident. She had emergency knee surgery Wednesday, possible vertebral damage, many broken ribs, and broken toes on both feet. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.

Please pray for Uncle Carroll as he continues to struggle with pancreatic and liver cancers, as well as the vast amounts of stuff that comes along with those, like blood clots.

My new endeavors selling salves, teas, cleaning supplies, and cards. A little alternative income would be nice.

Please pray for people who are grieving. Most pressing on my mind lately are the Spohr family and the Gorillabuns family. Losing a child is just wrong in so many ways.

Keep MatHat76's husband in your prayers. I haven't heard any updates lately, but I'm hoping that's a good thing!

Sealgair would like prayers for her Uncle-in-law Gary and his wife, Anita.

Here's your chance: post your praises or prayer requests in the comment. And while you're there, pray for any comments ahead of you, please! Happy Weekend, folks!

Awesome Opportunities

2009-06-04T09:00:00.001-04:00

Recently I've been working on getting ready for some pretty cool things. You may be familiar with my little online store, Baileys Basics. For right now, it's off-line, actually. I'm finding that I've been selling a lot more product in person than I was online. My cousin owns a local flower shop, and has offered to let me consign my products there. I'm really excited, and need to build up good inventory to send her soon.

In addition to my Baileys Basics shop, I also have opened a card shop called 3 Cats Cards. I've been making things like this for ages, but finally have the time to turn out enough inventory to sell. A local shop called On The Turtle's Back has approached me about putting cards in their shop. How cool is that?! So I've been working on new cards and other paper products that are baby- and child-centered. Be sure to check out On The Turtle's Back, too, for great locally-produced kids' products.

Now, if I could only get up the same enthusiasm for making my curtains for downstairs....

The Soda Advent Husband Calendar

2009-06-03T09:00:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, our community had a yard sale. Ever looking for alternate streams of income, Brian and I set out our ~~useless junk~~ Priceless Treasures for the consuming masses. Ever inventive in our search for alternate streams of income, we also bought a ton of soft drinks that we put on ice and sold for 75 cents each. We have a few (thousand cases of) sodas left over. Luckily, Brian resists my efforts to make him give up caffeine and canned beverages full of sugar and will have these few remnants consumed in no time. Not to mention that the bulk of the soda is Pepsi Throwback, his soda du jour.

As we were cleaning up Sunday night, there were a few sodas left in the bucket, swimming in water. I dried them off and we took them inside. Since our fridge is full of Pepsi Throwback and my single-person, I'm-not-cooking-just-for-myself-but-still-need-to-be-low-carb food for this week, these sodas (Cokes, if you're from the South....) ended up on the kitchen counter. Monday, after Brian left, I realized that there are eleven sodas on our counter. Exactly the number of days (including the two half-days of travel) that Brian will be gone to North Carolina. I try not to drink soda very often, and since I found a decent source for sparkling water (which I LURVE) this past weekend I'll be drinking even less. But I've realized that if I drink one each day, I have a tangible countdown until Brian comes home. It's an advent calendar of sorts, I guess. Except one made of Pepsi Throwback, and Grape and Orange Crushes.

Do you think if I drink two each day he'll come home faster?

One Is Such a Lonely Number....

2009-06-02T09:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, Brian left for North Carolina. He'll be gone 10 days. Well, ten and a half days, and ten nights. If you're counting. Which I am. I'm not telling you this so that if you're some weird murderer you can come and stalk and kill me. I'm not small, I do fight back, and I do have an incredibly large butcher knife. Don't even think about breaking in. I'm telling you this so that you can understand what's going on around here, and why I'll be weird if you talk to me this week. You know, like I'm lonely and missing adult companionship! Nothing like being surrounded by two-year-olds to make you need an adult, right?

I hate it when Brian has to leave for work. The Bargain Basement where he works sends him all over the place to open new stores. Luckily, everything so far has been in either Pennsylvania or Virginia. And a day trip to Maryland, I think. He had to go to Kansas City when he worked for Circuit City (see the irony?), but that was like four days. This is North Carolina. For a week and a half. One particularly long trip was to Richmond for somewhere around three and a half weeks. It was horrible, but he could come back here on his days off and I visited him down there once as well. Of course, being Richmond, part of the fun was that the store was in an absolute ghetto and people were often robbed at gunpoint in the parking lot. While he was there. Gotta love Richmond. But now, he's eight hours away, too far to visit, and gone for a long time.

Mama swears I'll eventually want Brian to be away sometimes. She lives for hunting season, when Daddy becomes a mountain man living in his cabin and pretending to hunt deer She loves to eat out for every meal, stay up late, sleep in late, not clean house, and basically be single for a week. They both think it keeps them married, this system having a few weeks a year off for good behavior. I do not think we will ever get to this point, and personally hope we do not. I love Brian more than anything in the whole world, and could happily spend 24 hours a day with him for the rest of our lives. We've actually talked about this quite frequently (he feels the same way), and we're so glad our marriage is so good. He's my best friend and I want to share each little mundane thing with him. Not having him here for at least a chunk of the day makes my life crawl by in a boring, pointless blur. If you don't know me, you may not know that I am an accomplished sleeper. I can sleep anywhere, anytime, in most any position, and through any ruckus. I'm really good at it. When Brian's gone, I do not sleep. If I can get to sleep before 1 AM, it's a good night. And then it's only with the pillows strategically arranged, at least one cat purring by my head, and with the TV on. Then I'll wake up every two hours until 7:30. Tons of fun. It wears on me when he's gone for three or four days, so I can't imagine how I'm going to last 10 days of this routine.

Before the Yaya Princess and I were married, back when we were blushing, virginal maidens (cough, sputter), (you know like three years ago?) , Brian had to go to Kansas City for Circuit City. He had never flown anywhere before, and neither had I (I know, we're sheltered). I took the day off to drive him over to the Charlottesville airport, put him on a horribly small propeller plane, and watched it take off for the middle of nowhere. I will freely admit that I fully expected to see his plane drop from the sky or explode while I stood by the fence crying my head off. You see, I'm part of that lucky generation that has lived through the Challenger and 9/11. So maybe my imagination works overtime, or maybe I have post traumatic stress. Whatever, I was scared. I waited until that plane was completely gone from view, and then I headed back home. I cried for the entire hour I was on the road. I called my Yaya Princess to cheer me up. She travels a lot for work (so not kidding....like living in a different state for a month out of the year at that point), and so does everyone she knows. I called to ask her how on earth you get used to putting someone you love on a plane, trusting that it won't fall out of the sky and that they'll be back safe and sound. Better yet, in light of Brian's need to do this again in a month, how do you get used to doing it over and over?! She assured me that it was totally safe, and that I'd be fine. I think maybe she thought I was a little bit nuts. She loves me anyway, though, and checked in on me through the week.

Fast-forward about a year or year and a half. Yaya Princess and her Prince were engaged, and he had to go out of town for business. Living within spitting distance of three airports like they do, the Princess dropped him by the airport on her way to work. And then called me, sobbing like someone had shot her cat. She suddenly got it -- it's a whole heck of a lot different when you put the person you love more than anything else in the whole world on a plane. Saying goodbye to your boyfriend for a week? Easy. Saying goodbye to the love of your life for 10 minutes? Enough to make you rend your clothing, break out the ashes and sack cloth, and maybe go on a hunger strike to boot. She said it was infinitely harder than ever before, and that she completely understood why I was so upset now. We haven't talked about the subject in a while, but I'm willing to bet it still feels the same way for her. I know it does for me. As I watched that Jetta pull out of our driveway I couldn't help but cry. Forget that my husband is The Safest Driver On The Road. Hands at 10 and 2, foot ever ready for the brake, GPS enabled and guiding him to safety, always 5 miles under the speed limit. I don't care, I sobbed anyway. Maybe I'll stop crying by the time he gets home. Ugh, I hate business trips!!!

Our Master Plan

2009-06-01T13:00:00.001-04:00

Due to popular demand, I'll share our Get A Baby Plan 3.0. You know, 1.0 was just get pregnant like everyone else. 2.0 was do a little Clomid. 2.5 was see the fertility gurus for a lot of Clomid. So, without further ado,

Get A Baby Plan 3.0!

We're stopping everything for six months. I know, a crazy way to get pregnant, you might think. We know that it's either going to take IUI or adoption for us to have children, so we individually took a week or so to think through our options, do some research, talk to the doctor, etc. Brian said he continually came back to the feeling that we need six months off and then we'll be successful at something. Since he kept coming back to this same conclusion, we decided to listen. If God points you in a certain direction, the best plan is to listen to Him. So, six months off. No Clomid, only loosely monitoring anything, and just enjoying our Summer and Fall. If I get pregnant, it's God's Will and rock on with it. This gives us a chance to heal emotionally, rest me physically, and maybe even drop some of this big ol' butt. Hopefully. Gaining 25 pounds on Clomid sucked, in case I haven't mentioned it.

After six months, we'll try six rounds of IUI. Ideally, of course, we'll try far fewer and be successful. If after six trys I'm not pregnant, then we're going straight to adoption. We know that we want to adopt at some point. Whether that's for all our children or for children in addition to a biological child remains to be seen. First we'll try the IUI so we can have exhausted our options and can move on with no question.

Don't think we'll be spending six months lounging on the beach and drinking mai tais, though. Nope. Remember my post about preparing for rain? That's what we'll be doing. We've been so intent on asking the Lord to give us a child, but not so intent on preparing for that child. Sure, I've done a lot of reading and planning about home birth, cloth diapering, homemade baby foods, chemical-free living, homeschooling, and raising children to serve the Lord, but that's not preparing for the flesh and blood little person that we're asking for, is it? Our eventual nursery currently houses a twin bed, full-length mirror, spare Pack n Plays for the daycare, all our yard sale accumulations, our china, a drying rack for clothes, and the second litter box. That's not counting the closet! Not exactly a nursery. So, over the next six months, we'll be rearranging a few things in other rooms to accommodate the furniture and "stuff", and I'll purge most of it out of our house. We'll return the bed to Mama and Daddy, since it's theirs, and start planning for baby furniture. We've been buying things here and there that we know we want our kids to have, so that stuff will go into the room. We're not painting or hanging window treatments, but we're getting ready. You know, preparing for rain. In addition, I'll be low-carbing it, since that is a good way for women with PCOS to drop weight which leads to higher pregnancy rates. It's worked for me before, and as important as grains are for a healthy lifestyle, it's only a temporary thing for me to do. Bring on the steak!

The most important things we'll be doing will be gathering information for adoption, and saving money. We'll be choosing an agency, and maybe doing agency interviews. We'll be getting our home ready for a home study, too. Since we'll be saving $135 each month by not going to the gurus, we'll put that aside to save. And start cutting back dramatically in every area so as to start making a dent in the expense of IUI and/or adoption. This six months is for preparing and planning, and that includes financial preparations. So we won't be going many places, doing many things, or eating out much at all. We're going frugal, ya'll. After six months we should be able to afford six months of IUI and be better prepared financially for adoption.

So, that's it. I know, it's pretty simple and logical. We have a great peace with the plan and believe that we're following God's will. At this rate, we're looking at Baby 2010! Thoughts and prayers, and even advice are greatly appreciated. Have a great day!

Thoughts on links: if you're here because you're dealing with infertility, some of those links might be helpful to you. I link to things to better explain myself, not because it's the end all and be all of the information I've found. Like the china link....it's our pattern, but not our registry. If you see a link about something you're interested in, follow it and be informed. If you need an explanation or a link and I didn't make one, please feel free to comment or e-mail me for further information. A handful of folks comment on my blog, and I appreciate each one. But I see a lot of other people are here via Google Analytics, and I see the keywords that lead you here. So know that I love you, Dear Lurker! Those links are for you! Later, taters.

Search Me!

2009-06-01T12:30:00.000-04:00

Hey, look! Now you can search my blog! And not just that, you can search my blog, anything I've ever linked to, any sites on my blog roll, any of the sites I like, and the web all from one little box. It's over there on the right-hand side of my blog, and will bring up a little box up at the top of my blog. How cool for you?!

This post is scheduled for 12:30 PM on Monday. The update for our Master Plan is scheduled for 1:00. Check back!!